You are walking your reactive dog and you are both doing your very best. You have your high value treats in a treat pouch, you have a leash sleeve alerting others that your dog needs space. You are hypervigilant and constantly scanning the area for potential triggers that will send your dog into an over threshold rage. Someone on their phone, paying no attention to you or your dog, walks towards you head on and your dog starts barking and lunging. You already feel bad and deflated. And to top it off, the stranger gives you a side eye and says “Get your dog under control!” which makes the entire situation sting even more. Sound familiar?
Maybe your dog has separation anxiety and cannot be left alone safely. You are working with a Board Certified Veterinary Behaviorist to manage behavioral medications and a Behavior Consultant to help with day to day training. You have not been out of the house for longer than 10 minutes in over a year without a pet sitter or sending your dog to day care. The entire endeavor is costly both financially and emotionally. You try talking to friends and family members about your struggles, hoping for a safe space to share. Instead you get unsolicited advice and feedback- “Just let them cry it out.” ”If I were you I would get rid of that dog,” and other ideations of similar sentiments. These conversations further solidify that you are alone on this journey and there is no one out there that understands your situation. Or is there?
Social Prescriptions for Loneliness
If we zoom out for a moment, from the guardians and trainers of animals with big feelings, to our broader society as a whole, there are some alarming trends. A recent study by the American Psychological Association shared that among more than 3,000 U.S. adults, 69% say they needed more emotional support in the past year than they received. This loneliness epidemic is concerning for our mental health as well as our physical health. The same APA study shared that “Survey data also revealed that those who experience high levels of loneliness were more likely to also be struggling with their physical and mental well-being than those with low loneliness levels.” It’s like loneliness is the tip of the iceberg, and without actively moving away from it, it can take you down just like the Titanic.
Studies continue to prove the positive link between social connection and longevity. Having relationships with friends and family can literally help you live longer! I think it is also important that we normalize the feeling of loneliness. We must be able to recognize and verbalize the feeling before we can work towards healing. As Jeremy Nobel said in this Harvard article “Loneliness is a biological signal indicating that we need human connection, just like thirst is a signal telling us that we need water. I’ve never met anyone embarrassed about being thirsty, so why are we embarrassed about being lonely?” He discusses doctors giving “social prescriptions” for loneliness, meaning that instead of medication, the patient is supposed to find ways to spend time with others.
My challenge to you is to create your own social prescription. Find ways to fill that need for human social connection and community. Sound like a daunting task? Don’t worry – social workers are the givers of resources so I cannot end this blog without doing so! Take a look at the resources below to help build your own village!
For Owners of Dogs with Behavioral Challenges
For Friends & Family of Owners of Dogs with Behavioral Challenges
For Dog Trainers of Dogs with Behavioral Challenges
For All Animal Caretakers & Professionals
You have the tools, now it’s time to try them out!
Your Friend,
Valerie
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Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
