The other day I was on a walk, pondering. I do most of my pondering while strolling in the woods.
I passed a few dogs and was thinking about how we often take such an individualist approach to pet guardianship. I mean, sure, we talk about support systems and all that jazz, but at the end of the day we tend to really focus on what you, as an individual pet parent, can do for your pet.
So, instead, I thought today I’d share some ways that you, even if you don’t have a dog, can help the dogs in your community. Because if you’re here, you probably love dogs and other animals, and there are small gestures that you can do that may make a world of difference to someone and their pet.
01. As a default, give them space
Navigating the world with a pet is hard. Navigating the world with a pet with behavior challenges is exponentially more difficult. It is a small thing, but providing them with a little extra space, taking a pause when you notice that someone crosses the street with their dog, even a friendly smile when you see someone trying to manage their dog behind a shrub can go a long way. That doesn’t mean that every dog and person wants space, but letting them initiate the interaction can help them take a deep breath. Because my clients and I spend a lot of time talking about ways to avoid people whom “all dogs love” out in the real world.
02. And if you can’t give space, use non-threatening body language
Avoid staring: turn your gaze elsewhere, soften your shoulders, and turn them slightly away from the dog. I can’t tell you the number of dogs I pass on walks that will furrow their brow at the sight of me, and once I made a few small adjustments that say, “Hey, friend, I mean no harm”, their brows relax and their body gets loose.
03. Learn how to appropriately greet a dog in the event the dog and their person are interested!
Calm, polite greetings are a skill that many pet parents do want to work on! Whether it is a young pup who is just learning their life skills, or a pet who is gaining confidence around people, there are so many pet parents who would LOVE to have a knowledgeable and respectful person to practice with. You can find all sorts of guides for this online, but here are some of my favorite resources. For general guidelines, I love this blog and diagram by Lili Chin. And for kids specifically, I really like this video.
04. Practice supporting instead of fixing
We humans WANT to fix things. It pains us when we can’t fix stuff, and because of that, we tend to offer a whole lot of unsolicited advice, which hurts when you’re already struggling. I’ve experienced it, and many of my clients have experienced it as well. This is such a common occurrence that I wrote the blog, So Someone You Love Loves a Pet With Behavior Issues? There are a ton of ways you can support people working through challenges with their pet that will be more beneficial than offering a well-intentioned, but often ill-informed “fix”. I also recommend checking out Episode 54 – Valerie Bogie: Your Self-Care is Enrichment where we talk with Valerie Bogie about providing and finding support. There are tons of great resources linked in the show notes!
05. If you’ve been there and had professional support on your journey, leave a review
Finding support is FREAKING HARD! There is so much jargon and information to wade through. When you’re already struggling with your pet, finding someone to support you can feel like way, way, way too much on top of everything else. So, if you worked with someone, leave them a good review! It will help other pet parents in need find the support they are looking for on their journey.
Now what?
- Consider the way that you can help fellow pet parents in your life, and even your greater community!
Happy Training!
Ellen