When we first adopted Oso, we knew we were bringing home a dog who was reactive to both people and other dogs. Not long after, he became reactive to loud and/or large vehicles, too. (I talk more about how I caused that in this podcast episode.) We were prepared for that and got to work right away—especially because we lived in a townhome complex with no yard, which meant potty walks weren’t optional.
Inside, our setup seemed ideal. Zorro’s tank lived in front of the front window, which meant Oso couldn’t see out of it. Our back patio faced a tall brick wall. No yard meant no yard stress. No window access meant no watching the world go by and getting riled up. It felt like a win.
And yet… we weren’t making progress. Not at the rate I expected, anyway.
What gives?
One day, I came home on my lunch break and found Oso standing on our bed—on the second floor—barking his fool head off at a dog walking past on the sidewalk. I stood there, confused. Our bedroom balcony faced the brick wall behind our building. How was he seeing the sidewalk?
Turns out, from his height on the bed and the angle of our sliding glass door, he could see the sidewalk. Just enough to react to it.
That was my lightbulb moment. I had been assuming he was peacefully snoozing at home while I was at work, and was fresh and ready to practice our reactivity work in the evenings when I got home. In reality, he was spending his days yelling at passersby and trigger-stacking. No wonder we weren’t making progress!
We put up window film on the balcony doors so he couldn’t see out anymore. And wouldn’t you know it…once he had a space that was actually a break from stress, his progress picked up.
It Was Going Fine… Until It Wasn’t
I’ve heard variations of this story time and again from my clients—sometimes it’s about reactivity, like with Oso. Other times it’s about interspecies relationships, like a dog who suddenly becomes grumpy with a child they previously tolerated well… until we discover that the child is climbing into the dog’s bed while they’re trying to sleep.
Whatever the scenario, the pattern is the same: when we make decisions based on faulty data, we get faulty results.
What We Think Is Safe Doesn’t Always Feel Safe
At Pet Harmony, we say it all the time: only the learner decides what’s reinforcing. That same principle applies to safety. Only the learner decides what feels safe.
We can do our best to set up a cozy, quiet corner and call it a “safe space.” But if your pet doesn’t feel safe there, it isn’t. That’s not a failure—it’s just information. And we can work with that.
What feels safe to one individual may not feel safe to another. And what feels safe when you’re home may feel very different when you’re not.
So… Is Your Pet’s Safe Space Actually Safe?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
- Does anyone invade that space?
- Think: kids, other pets, delivery people, roaming Roombas. A “safe space” that’s constantly interrupted can’t serve its intended purpose.
- Do you really know what your pet is doing when you’re not home?
- I thought Oso was napping. He was very much not napping. A pet cam can give you helpful insight into what’s actually happening while you’re away.
- Is your pet choosing to use the space on their own?
- If they’re avoiding it or only using it when guided, it may not feel as safe as you think.
- Is it protected from triggers?
- Can they see or hear (or smell!) things that stress them out? Can those things access the space (like the neighbor’s dog sticking their nose through the fence)? Visual barriers, sound masking, and strategic location can make a big difference.
Safe spaces are a foundational part of helping pets feel secure, emotionally regulated, and ready to learn. But like everything else in behavior, they only work when they work for the individual. If something isn’t progressing the way you expected, it might be time to take a closer look; you might be surprised by what you find.
Now What?
- Observe your pet over the next few days. Where do they tend to hang out? Is there anywhere they seem to hang out when they’re stressed (good or bad stress)?
- Observe your pet in that particular hangout spot. Are they protected from triggers and invaders in that space? If yes, awesome! If not, how can that be changed?
- If you need help identifying or teaching your pet about safe spaces, our consultants can help!
