How to Take a Break from Your Dog

Estimated reading time: 6 mins

When you share space with another living being, there will be times that you would like a little break from them. I think parents can identify with a lot of the thoughts I’ve put down here. In fact, when I was prepping to write this blog, I looked through a few resources encouraging parents to take breaks and meet their own needs.

If you can’t remember exactly who you are and what you like to do outside of your dog, you’re in good company. I changed my whole career because of a medium-sized cinderblock with muppet hair (Petey the Wondermutt). The amount of alone time an individual might need fluctuates, and depends on many factors, but here are some ideas to help you snag a little time to yourself.

1. Cultivate Independent Project Time

We at Pet Harmony stan a long term calming project. Here are a few blogs to prove it:

But this isn’t just about keeping your dog distracted or busy. We want to build skills around down-regulation (calming down) and independence. Consistent use of long term calming projects helps with both! Bonus: it actually does keep them busy, even if that’s not the point.

Ideally the project also makes them feel relaxed and snoozy, and on their way toward a nap. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Here’s how we start to build a skill around project time:

Start slow. Provide your dog with something to do where you can still be nearby but are not directly involved.
Pair a long term calming project with a comfortable space, and you have the beginnings of a safe space.
Add a gate or enclose the space while your dog works on their long term calming project, and you have some time to yourself!

If your dog has never done anything on their own behind a barrier before, they may not have the skills to keep working on their project, let alone relax into a nap, that’s why it’s important to take it slow and observe what’s happening. Once you’re both used to how it looks and feels to hang out in different spaces, you can start to incorporate layers of relaxation in the environment. These will serve as cues that it’s time to chill.

Tigerlily working on a long term calming project in consultant Beccy’s office.

Sometimes Peter takes a break from me and hangs out in his room (he never cleans it, though).

2. Set the Stage for Relaxation

If you’ve ever created a small pillow mountain on your couch to prop yourself up just right, grabbed your favorite beverage (or three), and put some background music on to unwind with a book, you’ve already got a good idea of how to set up a relaxing environment for your pet.

Think about the situations in which you see your pet get nice and comfy and what we like to call melty. They look like their muscles are relaxing and melting into the surface they are resting on.

A few things to consider when setting up a safe space or relaxing environment:

Comfortable surfaces – Provide beds, blankets, or other surfaces your pet prefers to lie on. Note that their preferences may depend on the temperature, weather, or season.
Music – If you know what music is relaxing for your pet, put it on quietly. If you’re not sure, try the music you usually put on for yourself to relax if you’ve also seen them chill with you while it’s on.
Scents – If you have observed that pheromones like Adaptil (now known as Thunder Ease), natural scents like lavender, or items that smell like you may help your dog relax, add them as you arrange the environment to encourage rest and relaxation.

Note: Since dog’s noses are so sensitive, only subtle smells are required. Full-strength essential oils, for example, are too strong. If you’ve ever tried to spray something strong smelling on your dog that was supposed to help them smell better and they sneezed and moved away from you, you understand how they might react to a scent that is too much for them.

Light level – As a human who avoids using a Big Light™️unless absolutely necessary, consider the lighting when you’re setting up a relaxing environment.
Temperature – Your dog likely has preferences for airflow, cooling or warming surfaces, or access to other items like blankets that help them regulate their temperature and get comfy.
Ambient noise – In my household, brown, green, or pink noise, or the sound of a box fan are the preferred ambient sounds. Sound machines and streaming services have many options for ambient sounds based on your and your pet’s preferences.
Blocking outside stimuli – Closing the blinds or curtains might be one of the ways you create your own sanctuary space. Your dog may need a similar setup.

Here is some content to help you hone your observational skills and discover your pet’s preferences so you better understand how to create an environment that cues your dog to relax:

3.Outsource a Break

If taking a break from your dog means you’d really like to leave the house and go do something without them, think about adding a walker or sitter to your pet’s care team. A friend or family member that is well acquainted with your dog is also an option. Perhaps you can repay the favor sometime and help them get a break! Or maybe daycare is an option.

We completely understand that these options are not possible for many households for any number of reasons (it me). But if you can outsource a break and get some time to yourself, go for it!

4. Take a Breather

Sometimes you just need to slip behind a closed door and catch a few minutes alone. I picked this up from the parenting blogs I found when I was gathering inspiration for mine, and it’s totally something I’ve done in my own home when I needed it.

The bedroom and bathroom are common options for these quickie breaks. A moment of floor time with your legs up on the bed, or a short refreshing shower can do wonders for the nervous system!

It’s Okay to Take a Break

In case this reminder is necessary for you: It’s okay to need a break. Regardless of how long that break might be, take it. Engage with your self care practices, go on a date, put some time into a project that does not require a dog, go for a walk by yourself or with another human, get out and admire nature and touch some moss. Remember, self-care IS enrichment. We all deserve to have our needs met.

Here’s to harmony,

Tiffany

Now What?

If you can’t take a break from your dog, try taking a break with them.

Prior to your break time, provide your dog (and/or yourself) with the types of activities you know will facilitate your abilities to chill and relax.
Set up an environment that feels comfortable and relaxing.
Choose an activity that allows you to be in the same space as your dog, but they won’t need your full, rapt attention.

Example: I like to sit in my back yard with Petey, a beer, and a book.

I do this on days where Petey’s had his other needs met so he wants to sit around with me.
We have a shade installed in the back yard and I set up some planters for greenery. I often play some quiet music on a bluetooth speaker.
Sometimes Petey sniffs around our tiny back yard, sometimes he picks a place to lie around and sniff the air, and sometimes he sits on the lounge chair with me.

If it’s hard to take a break from your dog, or for your dog to relax and hang out, get in touch. We create and troubleshoot plans like this every day!

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