Training advice can quietly warp into impossible standards. “Daily sessions” becomes “if I miss one, I’ve failed.” Here’s how to name that trap and see why consistent, sustainable effort beats flawless execution every time. Through real examples, you’ll see what “good enough” training actually looks like — tossing treats instead of running a perfect protocol, swapping a hike for a cardboard box to shred. Find out why sustainable plans, not comprehensive ones, are the ones that actually create lasting change.
Tag: dog training
7 Tips for Working with Your Leash Reactive Dog
Leash reactivity (barking, lunging, growling at triggers) is usually rooted in fear. We’ll discuss practical tip around building a management plan, learning your dog’s body language, and using distance as your best tool for staying under threshold. You’ll also find guidance on practicing new skills before hitting the sidewalk.
5 Signs Your Dog Doesn’t Trust You (and how to Make it Better)
Did you have feelings about that title? Did it make you feel sad, confused or possibly even ashamed? Afterall, we love our dogs and it seems unlikely that anyone reading this post is intentionally trying to create conflict with their beloved pet. So before I jump into the signs of a trust account that needs some repair, I want to reassure you that trust accounts can feel broken for many, many reasons and the vast majority of them aren’t due to something you are intentionally doing.
Becoming Pet Harmony
Every once in a while an inquiry hits our inbox from an aspiring trainer or behavior professional that asks us the best path to get into the field. Working in an unregulated field, where anyone can slap a title like “certified trainer,” “or “behaviorist,” on a business card is tricky. The terminology alone is confusing. Dog psychology? Obedience? How does anyone with a dog know what will be helpful? How does anyone who wants to work with pets know where to start when there is so much conflicting information?
Unlike other professions, there isn’t a clear-cut answer or a step-by-step process. But sometimes that makes for a more interesting story, and that’s why we’re sharing ours. Whether you’re looking for your own path as a trainer, or you’re about to work with one of us as part of your behavior team, we hope that getting to know us a little better is helpful (and/or fun), and we’re glad you’re here.
TL;DR
Although our paths are varied, here are a few of the common themes I pulled out of our stories that brought ours together here at Pet Harmony:
- Mentorship: Just like a stray kitten finds a trusted human to follow home, many of us started by finding a mentor to show us the way.
- Behavior and body language: We all learned about behavior and body language in some way. In college, through a program, a mentor, or by filling our shelves with books, these essential topics inform our practices and allow our team to prioritize welfare and wellbeing.
- Hands-on experience: Whether in a shelter, vet clinic, or training classroom, we all spent time applying behavior principles and practicing training mechanics.
- Curiosity and growth mindset: We’re all lifelong learners. Whether we have college degrees, certifications, or other credentials, we continue to learn and grow. Additionally, we have all brought our individual skills and talents along for the ride, including those from previous lives and careers, which bolsters our next theme…
- Teamwork: Internally at Pet Harmony or working as part of our clients’ care teams, we know that helping people and their pets live harmoniously means we all have to work together.
Allie
Well, I was born on a Monday…
Fast forward 13 years – I wanted a puppy. We had always had 2 dogs while I was growing up and 2 years had passed since we lost one of my childhood dogs leaving us with only 1. It felt like the mourning period was over and it should be time to add another four-legged family member. My parents disagreed with that assertion, saying that they did not want the responsibility of caring for another individual.
So, in true Allie fashion, I created a PowerPoint presentation and presented to them everything that I would do for the puppy and all that I learned about caring for puppies. They relented, and we adopted an adolescent Newfie mix, Bear. Thanks to Bear and his adoption process, I learned a lot about animal homelessness in the US and decided that I was going to open an animal shelter. Which is obviously a totally normal thing for a teenager to decide to do with their life.
My local shelters did not allow volunteers younger than 16, so as soon as I turned of age, I started volunteering. The volunteer position was loosey goosey, and I got to do everything from cleaning dog and cat enclosures to helping potential adopters to providing enrichment. I also got my first job at 16 as a veterinary assistant. At 17, I started working at a local pet boutique.
I went to college for Animal Science at Iowa State University (decidedly not pre-vet). While there, I started a student-run organization called Students Helping Rescue Animals to connect students with local shelters and provide aid through volunteering, fundraising, and educating the student population. That organization still exists today!
I took all the classes I could on companion animals, animal enrichment, and human psychology. I published my honors thesis study on environmental enrichment and its effect on adoption rates for shelter dogs on the ISU Ag Extension website. I had a few summer internships with shelters and sanctuaries, a semester-long internship with the director of a senior citizen facility, and did a whirlwind study abroad about horses in Ireland and the UK.
After graduating in 2012, I was only able to find part-time work with animals so I had a bunch of part-time jobs: Kennel Technician at a local shelter, Dog Trainer at a local company, Veterinary Assistant at a local low-cost spay/neuter clinic, and assisting my mom in her real estate work.
One of those jobs finally turned full-time and I became the Program Manager for the low-cost spay/neuter clinic in 2013. This was it! I was going to do the things I needed to do when I opened my shelter! Fundraising, program development, donor relations, volunteer coordination, marketing… and I hated it. So a decade after deciding I was going to open a shelter and taking every opportunity I possibly could to prepare myself for that, I entered into a quarter-life existential crisis, realizing I no longer had that dream.
In considering what I was going to do with the rest of my life, I found solace in teaching group classes every week for a local dog training company – the only part-time job I continued when I accepted the full-time position. I just wanted to train dogs. In 2014, I took a full-time dog behavior consultant position with Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah and eventually became the team lead for the dog behavior department.
I was afforded a lot of opportunities while there: national speaking engagements, TV & commercial appearances, publications. But the most important opportunity was getting to work with hundreds of dogs and several cats with really severe behavior issues. I essentially got a super condensed crash course in behavior modification; what would have taken over a decade to experience, I got in a couple of years. This is also where I met Emily and we started working on Canine Enrichment for the Real World.
We decided to move back to Illinois at the end of 2016. I worked contracted training jobs for 1 whole month before deciding that if I wanted to pay my bills and work as a full-time behavior consultant that I should start my own business, and thus Pet Harmony was born. Since then Canine Enrichment for the Real World and its companion workbook came out, we started the Enrichment for the Real World podcast, and I continue to speak and teach.
Emily
Being the neurospicy person I am, non-humans were my special interest from infancy. My parents loved to tell the story about how my bib had a bunny rabbit on it with a squeaker in its tummy, and when people would squeak it I’d cry and tell them, “Don’t hurt the bunny!” So for as long as I can remember, I wanted to work with animals and cared deeply about their wellbeing. As a child, I thought the only option was to be a vet, so that’s what I thought I wanted to do.
When I was 10, we went on a tour of the Texas A&M vet school, and our tour guide told us, “To get into vet school, they don’t just look for good grades, they look for lots of experience working with animals.” Taking that hyperliterally (because, again, neurospicy), I asked my mom if we could stop by our local shelter when I got home. The shelter told me volunteers had to be 11 years old, so on my 11th birthday I signed up to be a volunteer.
I was a hard worker and very interested in learning more about animals and their care, so one of the vets who offered vet services for the shelter – and who, incidentally, knew my parents from church – invited me to volunteer at his vet clinic.
So from the age of 11, I started volunteering at that shelter and vet clinic, eventually getting hired as a kennel tech at 15 and then trained up as a vet tech at 17. I also rode horses at a local barn. We couldn’t afford riding lessons, so I mucked stalls in exchange for lessons, and eventually was allowed to groom horses in exchange for lessons.
The journey I went on through my teens and 20s was long and convoluted and I won’t bore you with the details, but the salient points are:
- I also ended up working for an aviary, raising and training parrots; I volunteered for one wildlife rehab facility during college and worked for another later in my 20s; I switched to a different stable that used the freedom method and I eventually got to the point where I was able to work with the horses who had behavior issues in exchange for lessons; over the years I became a relief vet tech, which allowed me to work at a wide variety of veterinary practices, including emergency medicine, speciality hospitals, alternative medicine, and exotic medicine; I co-founded and ran Austin Parrot Society; and I served on the board of Wings of Love Avian Rescue.
- In college I realized that I did not, in fact, want to be a vet. Instead, I double majored in Linguistics and Psychology. Due to health issues and family stuff, I had to drop out two months before I graduated.
- Because I saw a lot of success working with horses and birds using kinder, more empowering and ethical methods (although admittedly still more coercive and aversive than I am now), I had some weird cognitive dissonance about the difference between how I was working with horses and birds vs. how I was working with dogs and cats, which my brain explained away by believing that predator species needed more coercion and “discipline” than prey species.
By my late 20s, I was in a pretty dark headspace. All I wanted to do was help animals, but it broke my heart to see how we were causing so much fear and aggression. I was told many times over, and believed, that “we have to hurt them to help them.” But it really messed me up.
Through the avian community, I learned about Dr. Susan Friedman and was interested in learning more from her. Because I had majored in Psychology, I really wanted to hear what she had to say about the application of the behavior sciences to non-humans. So in 2008, I took the first course from her–a free introductory course called “Parrot Behavior Analysis Solutions” or PBAS. That course no longer exists, but in the very first lesson of PBAS I was just sobbing. Everything she said made so much sense, it was so cohesive, and most of all it was such a relief to know that no, in fact, we do not have to hurt them to help them.
I was hooked. I took every course she had available, I dove into every textbook I could find and afford, and I started following around behavior professionals who worked with different species like a stray kitten, not giving them much choice but to mentor me. I just knew that helping humans and animals to better understand each other and work together harmoniously was what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and I was going to figure out how to do that, by hook or by crook.
But the thing is, my mentors were great, but they never signed up to be mentors and they weren’t set up to give me a comprehensive education. I did the best I could by stray-kittening as many mentors as I could find, reading as many books as I could get my hands on, and just diving in and doing the work with as many species as I had available to me (which, admittedly, was a lot). But I made a lot of mistakes. I had to learn a whole lot of lessons the hard way. My learning curve was a 90 degree angle. And I pro bono’d myself into poverty in the process.
So in 2016 I discovered another passion: helping other behavior professionals get to where I got without having to go through what I went through to get here. Allie and I have been developing and refining our mentorship program ever since then, and with Ellen added to our team we’ve ended up with PETPro, which is a mentorship program that I would have killed to have available to me when I was starting out. Our unofficial tagline is, “We messed up so you don’t have to.” And that truly is my passion: helping people to acquire the knowledge and skills to do this job well without all the painful mistakes I had to make. By doing that, my ability to help humans and non-humans live together harmoniously increases exponentially. And, really, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Ellen
Honestly, I got here through chaos, privilege, and a bit of whimsy. I went to college at the University of Washington and lucked out that they had an Animal Behavior program that was supported by both the Psychology and Biology departments. There, I was able to learn from some incredible animal behaviorists and researchers who truly believed in me. After finishing my Bachelor of Science in Psychology, I went on to gain as much diverse experience as I could. I worked as a Procurement Analyst at Boeing (someone stole my sandwich, and that was the last straw), and independent contractor running preference tests in home for dog toys and cat food for large corporations, managed a dog daycare, volunteered in wildlife rehab and at zoological institutions, and was the teaching assistant for the Certificate in Applied Animal Behavior at the University of Washington.
In 2015, my partner had the opportunity to join a company in Florida, Natural Encounters Inc, and we left the PNW to embark on a Southern adventure. After joining the team at Natural Encounters, I had the opportunity to work on multiple teams, including the show team at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, where we facilitate free flight educational bird shows, and the Ranch team, taking care of the birds at home base, raising baby birds, facilitating professional education workshops, and leading facility tours. In 2017, with the help of Griffey, I completed the Karen Pryor Academy – Dog Trainer Professional course earning my KPA-CTP.
In 2018, we were ready to return to the PNW, and I joined the team at Ahimsa Dog Training, helping puppies gain life and social skills, leading group classes, and really shifted my focus from my direct training skills to my people coaching skills. Again, with the help of Griffey, I fell in love with canine conditioning and fitness, and worked with Lori Stevens to learn skills to help Griffey, and other dogs, feel comfortable and empowered in their bodies.
Once the pandemic hit in 2020, my partner and I made another move down around Oakland, California. Once there, and with the whirlwind that was 2020 and beyond, things moved quickly. I published in the Journal of Zoological and Botanical Gardens with my mentor Dr. Eduardo Fernandez, and my partner Nathan Andrews; releasing research completed during my undergrad. I completed Julie Naismith’s Separation Anxiety Pro Behavior Consultant program, earning my CSAPBC. I joined the training team at East Bay SPCA, running classes and seeing private clients, and jumped at the opportunity to join Pet Harmony as a Behavior Consultant.
Since the chaos of 2020, I’ve taken on the roles of Behavior Consultant, Operations Manager, Mentor and Co-Owner at Pet Harmony. In addition to my work at Pet Harmony, I’ve returned to the world collegiate learning as a Teaching Associate with the University of Washington in their Certificate for Applied Animal Behavior. I’ve taught courses on creating safe spaces for pets, presented at conferences on working with clients, and continue to strategically seek out learning opportunities from amazing mentors and teachers.
Our fearless leaders, left to right; Allie, Emily, and Ellen. Pet Harmony co-owners and work wives.
Claire
I’ve always been the “animal girl” of the family. I was the neighborhood dog sitter, the kid people called to “come feed the cats while I’m gone,” and the one who would attempt to teach my dog tricks in the backyard without any information or instruction (she was a pro at “Get it!” by the time we were done!)
In middle school, I got really into musical theatre and thought that would be the path I would pursue. I went to college and got my Bachelor of Fine Arts in musical theatre (while walking dogs for some side cash), and after saving some money at home, moved to Chicago to start auditioning!
Cue my quarter life crisis realizing that I didn’t want to live the lifestyle that musical theatre would likely require of me, despite my heart being entirely smitten with it. I sat down, thought about what I truly cared about, and realized it came back to animals, especially dogs and cats. As evidenced by my childhood, I loved spending time with animals and caring for them. I’ve also always been fascinated by behavior. Much of my theatre training was spent analyzing thought processes and what drives people to do and say the things they do. In fact, that was one of my favorite parts! When I realized that there existed a role in the animal world that would allow me to embrace all of those things, I excitedly dove head first into learning everything dog via dog daycares and attempted to connect with anyone who might be willing to mentor me.
I jumped around to a few different doggy daycares until I ended somewhere where there was a training department that gave me foundational knowledge. During this time, I read Canine Enrichment for the Real World, which guided me to look up Pet Harmony for help with my own pup. It was through further conversations that I learned about the Pet Harmony Mentorship Program, the precursor to PETPro. I got to meet some of my future coworkers there, speak with mentors that helped me to continue growing my knowledge and skills, and join an invaluable trainer community that I’m honored to be a part of today! From time spent there, I was able to formally join the Pet Harmony team. They have been absolutely integral in helping me learn and grow my skills.
Today, I work with all types of animal behaviors, helping families and their pets feel confident and safe. The best part is that I am in a constant state of learning, which means the job never gets stale! I’m absolutely working my dream job and I’m so grateful for what I do.
Corinne
Look, I just really like brains, I like communicating, I like exploring, and I like connecting with others. While all my kindergartener classmates wanted to be superheroes or work in the Doritos factory, I wanted to be a teacher. As I got older, I became obsessed with music and band class–playing my oboe and mellophone consumed my waking hours. When it came time to apply for college, I felt the internal pressure to prove my intelligence by doing something highly academic while also fulfilling the budding feminist inside of me so I went to the University of Illinois and was a Molecular and Cellular Biology & Gender and Women’s Studies double major so that I could become a gynecologist… but I couldn’t stay away from music classes and ensembles. One day, I eventually stared at myself in the mirror (literally, I was so emo), cried for about 30 minutes straight, and decided to switch majors to Music Education.
After graduation, I worked at the Walt Disney Company in a few different roles, then got my “Big Girl Job” teaching band at a Grammy-award winning high school, and fell totally in sync with my purpose as a connector. I loved teaching music and I loved how ensembles connected so many people through creating something together. I thought this was what I was going to do for the rest of my life.
So how’d we get here to the animals? Opie Dog! I first started volunteering as a dog walker at our local shelter because I wanted a dog so badly, but couldn’t have one yet. One day, I walked into my regular volunteer shift, the stars aligned, and I met eyes with my soul mate Opie. I called my human soul mate Tony, told him this, and we adopted Opie as a 1 year old. He was filled with joie de vivre, including all the delightfully naughty things. What was going on in this puppy dog’s head?! I started to consume everything I could about dog training and with every book I read, I started realizing that I can replace “dog” with “freshman” and it all still reads the same. Training is a way to connect with another learner and it was so similar to teaching my band kids. The humane society connected me with Allie Bender, she took me under her wing (I got to read Canine Enrichment for the Real World as a manuscript!), and I began working as a dog trainer on the side. I studied more, I learned more, I taught group classes, and I spent more time working with behavior cases. After my second kid was born, we decided to take a break from teaching in a brick and mortar school with human brains and now I’m doing behavior consulting with pet and human brains.
Band Teacher and Pet Behavior Consultant may seem like two different things, but at the core of both is learning, connecting, and growing with others.
MaryKaye
Ask 100 different dog trainers and behavior consultants how they got to where they are and it’s likely that you will get 100 vastly different answers. Here is a part of my story:
I always had a strong love of and interest in animals, including human animals but I was especially interested in behavior. I was also really obsessed with dogs as a kid. I mean really for realz obsessed as evidenced by the multiple dog books in my little kid library. I toyed with the idea of being a vet but I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford tuition for that many years plus…math. Stick a pin in this one, because I also thought about being an animal trainer but I had no idea how to go about accomplishing that so instead I earned a BA in psychology, because behavior.
My first job post college was as a case manager in a social service agency that provided services to senior citizens. It was my first real foray into applying how behavior works in the real world.
When my first born son was old enough to enter preschool, he was enrolled in an early childhood Montessori school. I was once again bitten by the behavior and learning bug and I was smitten by the approach that the Montessori education system utilized to help students learn at the pace that was right for them. So I did the only logical thing I could think of and joined the staff at the school where my son was a learner. I did that for almost two decades, devoting time to both the preschool and kindergarten classrooms as an educator. Truthfully, my years as an educator of young children was incredibly impactful in terms of being able to look at behavior through the lens of curiosity rather than judgment. What a gift to me!
I started volunteering in animal shelters because, remember, I was a lover of dogs and wanted to get back to spending more time with them. And, hardly shocking to anyone that knows me, it was the dogs who were struggling the most in the shelter system that I was drawn to. I went on a learning rampage and started attending every local seminar, webinar and any other opportunities my brain could muster in an attempt to make life even just a little bit easier for the dogs who were exhibiting the most complex behaviors.
Remember the pin I told you about at the beginning of our wee little journey (the one about being an animal trainer?) It only took me a few decades to discover that there are actually people and programs out there that you can utilize to help you reach your goals. One of those people was none other than Allison J. Bender. I am not embarrassed to say that I quite literally stray kittened her and she was instrumental in helping me forge my path as a trainer and consultant on the Pet Harmony team. I knew what I wanted and she helped me with the how. And here I am, several years later working to help clients and shelters address complex behaviors and growing and learning alongside a team that is incredible!
From left to right: Claire, Corinne, and MaryKaye
Veronica
How it started: Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. After that I was in employee benefits consulting for a few years, because, why not? While challenging, it was not personally rewarding for me. But it did provide a strong foundation of customer service skills and appreciation for “complete counseling.”
Middle: I’ve been in veterinary medicine since 2009. I did this on a whim, starting off as a receptionist for a specialty vet hospital after leaving my consulting job and wanting to start over. Once I saw what the nursing staff was doing, I was hooked. I wanted to know all the things and how to care for sick animals. I became licensed after finishing tech school in 2013.
Later: I’ve spent most of my vet med career in emergency & critical care and in management roles. I’ve always had an interest in behavior because of my pets’ behavioral issues. I took classes and webinars to learn how to better support them through their struggles.
Now(ish): I switched to veterinary behavior after the pandemic. The pandemic was hard on vet med staff, I was ready for something new. I started working for Insight Animal Behavior Services and flourished with all the new concepts I was learning. I also saw the need for science based trainers with a true understanding of maladaptive behaviors. After getting my KPA-CTP I felt there was still something missing, so I joined PetPro. It was the missing piece I was looking for. It embraced the client’s journey and treated the animal as a whole. Then one day the stars aligned, and I joined the Pet Harmony team.
Tiffany
How I managed to live most of my adult life without a dog is beyond me. But I rented and moved around a lot and wanted to be responsible or whatever. Until that fateful day in November of 2018 when I found a scruffy little staffy with sad eyes staring back at me on Petfinder…but since everyone else so graciously started at the beginning, I will too.
I grew up in the middle of a corn field in Ohio, where my brother and I ran wild with every type of pet you could imagine. Cats, bunnies, chickens, hermit crabs, hamsters, racoons, a goat named Spunky, a pony named Topper, and a handsome German shepherd-malamute mix named Sam. I spent my career shadow day in middle school following around my vet. Like so many people who grew up in the 80’s/early 90’s, I thought I wanted to be a marine biologist. I spent the first couple of weeks of my summer break my junior year snorkeling in the Florida Keys as part of a marine biology class I had taken. My very first job was walking dogs and cleaning dog and cat kennels at a local vet clinic that also did pet boarding.
But I had allergies. And I couldn’t do math. And life happened. And college happened. I spent half of my time with the English majors of Bowling Green State University over in East Hall, and the other half in the spectacularly retro Life Sciences building with the bio majors, and caring for reptiles and amphibians in the herpetology lab. Before I started grad school, I got an internship working with a bunch of herpetologists with a small branch campus of a major university based in Fort Wayne, Indiana. (Side quest: I met the love of my life here when all 6’ 6” of him came striding into the office, muddy from catching snakes, wearing a thrifted “World’s Greatest Grandpa” shirt. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.)
But animals would have to wait. Armed with a Master of Arts in Scientific and Technical Communication, I wanted a career and health insurance or whatever. I spent 17 years working around the Midwest with engineers and software developers writing training, specs, manuals, and assorted instructional content. I decided that earning a living and having a passion for something could be two different pursuits, so I studied to become a yoga teacher and started doing that on the side. But those degrees (and the student loans I’m still paying off), didn’t guarantee anything. Like other elder millennials, my career weathered two major economic crises, and I was laid off both times. I learned to pivot, and picked up some teaching experience as an adjunct instructor of composition and technical writing.
During lockdown in 2020, I had some time to think. Petey and I spent a lot of time in the woods, and Big Man and I spent a lot of time putting together puzzles and discussing how we might navigate a career change. I began shadowing a trainer locally and teaching group classes. I enrolled in what was then called the Pet Harmony Mentorship Program so I could stray kitten the heck out of Emily. I learned the fundamentals of behaviorism, the mechanics of training, how to speak dog (body language), and, of course, the Pet Harmony Enrichment Framework. I worked for my spot in the program by helping review the work of other mentees in the first stage of the program. When the Mentorship Program emerged from its cocoon as PETPro, I got a magical email from Emily one night with the subject “Would you like to work for us?”
In my work with Pet Harmony, I have the opportunity to apply every bit of my life experience into an absolute dream job; something I truly thought would never be possible for me. It looks something like this:
- Tech writing and instructional design skills – As Content Lead, I manage the blog, lead quarterly content meetings to generate topics, edit and upload content for the blog and podcast, and edit and moderate social media posts for our Social Media Manager (hey Twinfany!). I also help create presentations because I’m the weirdo on the team who enjoys making Powerpoints, and Allie allows me to indulge my creative delusions of being a graphic designer by giving me fun projects. Additionally, I get to help with a lot of back-end stuff in our learning management system, as I have years of experience learning new software quickly to write instructions.
- Teaching skills (from both adjunct college stuff and yoga) – As a mentor in PETPro, I lead applied office hours. Often my topics revolve around writing, document usability and accessibility, or creating resources. I also hold office hours for self-care, and like to teach the occasional yoga class for folx in the program.
- Training and behavior skills – Obviously I wouldn’t be here without my experience as a trainer. I see clients as a behavior consultant, which I believe I have Petey to thank for just as much as any coursework I have completed. Life with a pet who is on a complex behavior journey brings its own lessons. I understand the struggles of other humans on this journey on a different level, including the limited bandwidth, the need for creative solutions, and the additional support required. I also get to see the enrichment framework in action, as our life requires its ever-evolving, iterative application to ensure the needs of the beings in our household are met.
From left to right: Veronica and Tiffany
Teamwork Makes the Dream Work
I know I’m not the only member of this team that credits the rest of the team with helping them become the trainers, consultants, mentors, and human people they are today. Since I’m curating and posting the blog, I get to speak for all of us when I encourage anyone interested in doing what we do for a living to find your people. Be a stray kitten. Trial and eval. Build your network. Lean on your community. Meet your needs. Working in an unregulated field is tricky, but it also brings together curious, compassionate, creative humans, and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to be part of this team.
Here’s to harmony,
The Pet Harmony Team
Now What?
If you’re a pet professional looking for your community, check out PETPro. If you’re a pet parent looking for help from people who care as much about working with you as you do about finding workable solutions for the issues you and your pet are having, we’re here to help.
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Understanding Impostor Syndrome in Animal Behavior
Ok, I have a serious question that is going to sound like a setup for a Jerry Seinfeld joke: what’s the deal with Impostor Syndrome, amirite?? It feels like everyone has it these days. It feels like it comes up in almost every conversation. In PETPro, almost every new mentee mentions it in their intake form as something they want to get rid of. So, ok, let’s talk about it.
First of all, what is it? The tricky thing about terms that enter pop culture is that they aren’t well defined, and like any construct they can mean different things to different people. Here are just some of the interpretations I’ve seen surrounding this phenomenon:
The original framing introduced by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 in their work with high-achieving women described it as persistent self-doubt, fear of being exposed as a fraud, and the inability to internalize success.
In some contexts, it is discussed as a pattern of thought related to the ego involvement in understanding cognitive bias, anxiety, and perfectionism. By this definition, impostor syndrome is described as overpreparation or procrastination; fear of failure; difficulty accepting praise; attributing accomplishments to external factors like luck, privilege, or good timing; and perfectionistic self-standards.
In other contexts, it is described as a byproduct of marginalization in inequitable systems. This lens emphasizes the impact of microaggressions, stereotypes about competence and social identity, lack of or underrepresentation, being “the only one in the room” from a marginalized group, and inequitable treatment in the workplace as the primary causes of impostor syndrome, and describes it as a reaction to context rather than a reflection a person’s belief in themself.
In still other contexts, it has been observed to happen when people are changing careers or undergoing any other major transitional period because the adjustment to new environments, standards, and responsibilities can be disorienting. And that disorientation can cause people to question their abilities and achievements.
And finally, there are many anecdotal reports of people describing impostor syndrome as a component of a mental health diagnosis such as anxiety disorders, panic disorders, OCD, BPD, etc. And there are still others that describe impostor syndrome as false humility, a valid assessment that they genuinely do lack the skill to be attempting certain tasks, a function of (learned) helplessness or perhaps just a robust punishment history, a type of social signaling where you “beat people to the punch” by critiquing yourself before they have the chance to, and who knows what else.
I haven’t met everyone, so I haven’t heard everyone’s use and definition of the term. But the thing is, all of those are valid descriptions of the lived experience of a subset of people who have referred to their experience as “impostor syndrome.” Which means that “impostor syndrome” isn’t just one thing.
And to be sure, some of these descriptions lie far outside my wheelhouse. I am not qualified to be anyone’s mental health professional, for example. And as far as creating more equitable systems, that is in my wheelhouse but is also the work of generations. I play only a small role in large, complex, iterative social change–certainly not something that I can address in the span of a blog article.
Fortunately, however, there is a core component of impostor syndrome that I can absolutely address here: How do I know if I’m actually good enough to do this job?
What Is Impostor Syndrome in Animal Training?
By far and away, the majority of people in the animal behavior fields who talk about having impostor syndrome have these things in common:
- They have taken a ton of continuing education but still feel like they’re missing something.
- They feel like a fraud every time a case doesn’t go as planned or a client is unhappy or unresponsive.
- They feel like everyone else in the industry is a lot more successful than they are.
- They’re afraid to ask for help because people in our industry can be absolutely vicious.
- They can’t tell if they have impostor syndrome or if they actually have the Dunning-Kruger Effect and they just don’t know that they have no business charging people for their services.
And y’all? This describes the overwhelming majority of people I’ve interacted with in our industry. So you’re not alone and, no, you don’t suck, but you do need to change your mindset.
In last week’s blog, I talked about how important building strong foundations are and how to go about doing that. If you haven’t read that article yet, it’s probably a good idea to pause here, go read it, and then come back.
I’ll wait for you…
You back? Great. Let’s keep going.
If your brain works anything like mine does, you might be thinking, “Ok but in that other blog you said it takes time and repetition. So what am I going to do in the meantime? Do I just have to suck until I’ve done this long enough to not suck? Should I be charging people if I suck? Maybe I should just pro bono myself into poverty like Past You did, right, Emily?”
Friends, please don’t make the mistakes that Past Me did. Learn from my mistakes so you don’t have to repeat them.
I’m going to tell you something that one of my mentors told me, and then we’ll talk about how to strike the balance between impostor syndrome and the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
My mentor was probably sick of being stray kittened by me, so she gave me my first client that she wanted me to take on solo. Without her, OMGS. I panicked and I was like, “But I’m such a newbie and I don’t know enough and I’m definitely gonna mess this up!” My mentor replied, “Emily, you know more than your client does, so anything you teach them will be an improvement on their current situation.” Remember that, y’all. It’s important. Regardless of where you’re at in your learning journey, you know more than your clients do about animal behavior.
That was the beginning of my journey to understanding that I was falling for a logical fallacy called a false dichotomy: the options aren’t “either I suck or I’m awesome” or “either I handle this case perfectly or I ruin it beyond repair.” You can be awesome and also have skill gaps. You can rock a case and still make mistakes in it. You can help a client in some ways and be wholly unequipped to help them in others. All of those things can be true at the same time.
Skill Gaps, Boundaries, and Cognitive Biases
If you’re afraid that you have gaps in your knowledge and skills, spoiler alert: you totally do. And that doesn’t make you an imposter, it just makes you human. Everyone has gaps in their knowledge and skills. Of course, people with deep expertise have fewer, but even they still have gaps.
And y’all, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: pursuing higher education is not going to change that. There are a grand total of two people I’ve met who have a masters or a doctorate in one of the behavior sciences, who wasn’t already an animal trainer beforehand, who I would ever consider hiring or even referring to. Why? Because even though academic education has enormous value in very specific contexts, and it has the potential to help people cultivate profound knowledge and skill in those specific contexts, it doesn’t – and, by definition, can’t – teach people the wide breadth of knowledge and skills that animal behavior professionals need to do their jobs well.
But even more relevant to this conversation, depth of knowledge in specific areas doesn’t get rid of the gaps, it just changes what gaps we’re more susceptible to. People who have depth of knowledge in a particular field or skillset are more susceptible to some cognitive biases than people who are less experienced. These cognitive biases include:
- Ego involvement in understanding – The more a person has learned, the more likely they are to start attaching their self worth to their ability to Know All The Things and Be The Expert. This can actually make it harder to learn new things and even harder to revisit things you already think you know.
- The Halo Effect – When someone has depth of knowledge and skill in one particular area, they are more likely to overestimate their knowledge and skill in related areas. We see this all the time with people who have a PhD in one of the behavior sciences (or even related biological sciences) overestimate their expertise in parallel fields and therefore veer way outside their lane without realizing it.
- The Law of the Instrument – When someone has depth of knowledge and skill in one particular area, they are also more likely to overestimate the value of their area of expertise while undervaluing parallel disciplines. The common adage that describes this cognitive bias is: “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.” But while that phenomenon is true across all levels of expertise, what The Law of the Instrument looks like in people with deep expertise is more like, “Because I am an expert in hammers, they are the most important tool and all other tools are ancillary to hammers.” That mindset can inhibit further growth and learning by stunting interdisciplinary collaboration.
- It can also look like academic snobbery, where people truly believe that academia is the only valid path to acquiring the knowledge and skills requisite to do any given job. And that mindset hurts literally everyone, including academia.
To be clear, my point in bringing this up is NOT to bash academia or any pathway that leads to deep expertise. Like I said before, advanced degrees have enormous value in specific contexts, and if they help you reach your clearly operationalized goals, you absolutely should go for it.
The point is that continuing to collect more and more education is not going to make your impostor syndrome go away. Or if it does, it’s probably because you’ve fallen prey to one or more of the cognitive biases listed above, which obviously is not a good solution.
The goal is to change your mindset about having gaps in your knowledge and education. Because having knowledge and skill gaps isn’t the problem–pretending they don’t exist is.
When you understand that all of us will always have knowledge and skill gaps, and the goal is not to reach this point of perfection where we have nothing more to learn and we are experts at everything we attempt, suddenly life becomes a lot easier. Instead, the goal is to cultivate an awareness of where those gaps are and what to do about them.
Ethical Practice
The way to operate in this field (or any field, for that matter) ethically and constructively, gaps and all, is to incorporate the following practices into your routine:
- Self assessment of qualifications – If you’re not sure whether or not you are qualified to take on a case, ask yourself the following questions:
- Do I know what information I need to gather for this type of case, and what questions I need to ask to get that information?
- Do I know the contingencies for when I get those answers and what that means in terms of how I need to change my approach or strategy?
- Do I have an internal database of experience – or do I have a mentor whose database I can rely on – for what it looks like to move through cases like this one?
- Plan to pivot – When you’ve taken a case and encounter something you’re not sure about or are struggling with, ask yourself the following questions:
- What are the specific skillsets that I lack in order to be more successful in this case?
- Who has the knowledge, skill, services, and/or scheduling availability that I lack whom I can either consult with, refer out to, or bring onto my client’s support team?
- Are these gaps in knowledge and skill within my wheelhouse and therefore something I should learn, or does this situation lie outside of my niche and therefore I should cultivate more connections with people with this area of expertise?
- Leverage learning opportunities – If you’ve identified knowledge and skill gaps that are in your wheelhouse, make them your priority focus in your continuing education plan (as opposed to just chasing all the continuing education shinies that may or may not be relevant to the cases you want to focus on in your career in the hopes that more education will make you feel more confident).
- Be honest with yourself, your clients, and your colleagues about your boundaries – So many people in our industry are afraid to reveal any weakness or uncertainty to their clients for fear that they’ll be thought of as incompetent. But in actuality, (reasonable) clients appreciate honesty and clarity in communication. Get into the habit of telling your client things like:
- I don’t know, but let me confer with some colleagues and I’ll get back to you.
- As we’re working together more I’m seeing xyz behaviors that tell me we could benefit from bringing someone with a different area of expertise onto your support team.
- You and your pet would benefit from xyz service, which is not something I offer. Let’s bring someone onto your support team who specializes in that service.
- Self assessment of qualifications – If you’re not sure whether or not you are qualified to take on a case, ask yourself the following questions:
This is what ethical practices look like–and they’re also the practices that are most likely to make your impostor syndrome feelings sit down and shut up.
Imposter Syndrome Thrives in Silence (and Shrinks in Community)
All of that said, there’s one other facet of our industry that can really turbocharge impostor syndrome, and that’s isolation. We work in a very isolating profession, and it’s made even more isolating by how we collectively show up (or don’t) for each other on social media.
If you feel afraid to put yourself out there…yeah, that’s reasonable. It’s rough out here on these streets. And when you have nothing to compare your business to other than all the social media posts of everyone else appearing to be awesome at their job, it’s reasonable to feel like maybe you’re the only person in the whole industry who is actually, truly, a fraud.
This is one of many, many reasons that belonging to a safe, supportive community is so important. If you’re in a community and you’re not sure whether or not it’s safe and supportive, it probably isn’t. When you’re in one, you know it.
So if this resonates with you, make that another goal in your continuing education plan: find or create a safe, supportive community where you can go to commiserate with people who understand what it’s like; where it’s safe to be vulnerable because you know that your community will reciprocate with their own vulnerabilities; where you can ask super basic questions without fear of being shamed and you can ask really hard questions without fear of being shut down; where you can bring your work to get constructive, supportive, reinforcing feedback; where you can share your wins and celebrate with each other; where mistakes are celebrated as a part of learning rather than treated as character flaws.
When you realize you’re not alone but are, in fact, one of many, impostor syndrome disintegrates.
Reframing Imposter Syndrome as a Signal, Not a Stop Sign
And having said all of this, it will probably never fully go away. It is bound to pop up from time to time. Even as I am writing this I can think of several times where I’ve felt like a fraud in very recent memory. As in, like, last week.
The difference is that I have learned how to reframe how I think about impostor syndrome when it happens to me: What if feeling like an imposter means you care? After all, when I’m choosing my mentors, colleagues, friends, and students in this industry, I stay as far away as possible from the folx who act like they’re experts, get defensive and play the victim when they receive constructive feedback, and demonstrate no interest in continuing to learn and grow. I’d much rather surround myself with people who feel genuinely concerned that they aren’t meeting their clients’ needs and can do better. So I’ve learned to apply that to myself, too. When I am gripped by feelings of inadequacy, I thank myself for caring enough to want to do better. And then I figure out what I need to learn in order to do better.
Instead of letting impostor syndrome hold you back, use it as a tool to help you move forward. Embrace the discomfort and use it as an opportunity to reflect, take responsibility for your gaps, and figure out how to grow.
And remember, growth doesn’t always look like shooting ahead. It often looks like strengthening your foundations. So if you’re having a hard time figuring out what new things you need to learn, reflect on what things you already know that you might need to learn more deeply. Ask yourself:
- What foundation needs strengthening right now?
- What support would help me feel steadier?
- What skills could use more fluency and/or generalization?
Foundations Are Built, Not Proved
Remember: if you’re focused on trying to prove yourself to yourself or anyone else, your inner critic will always be able to punch holes in that proof. Building a strong foundation for yourself isn’t about proving your expertise or your worth or your competency. It’s about building knowledge and skills in a way that supports your learning journey rather than punishing it.
Don’t be afraid of that cyclical learning process we discussed in last week’s blog article. Remember that quote from Ken Ramirez: advanced training is basic training done really well. Just keep plugging away at it and your foundations will get really strong over time.
And take care of yourself, please. You can’t help anyone if you burn yourself out by beating yourself up. The best way to do better at your job is to give yourself the support you need to stay in it for the long haul.
Here’s to harmony,
Emily
Now What?
Want more tools for battling impostor syndrome? We’ve got you covered.
And of course, if you’re looking for mentorship and community, feel free to join us in PETPro!
Copyright 2025 Pet Harmony, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
How to Teach Your Dog to Calm Down
I would be remiss if I didn’t start this blog by stating how vital the skill of self-regulation is for our pets. The intensity and distress of a household in a constant state of hyperarousal is where I often feel the most imminent need to establish quick relief. The outcome of much of our dog’s behavior stems from adequate rest. Without the ability to calm and settle, pets are preventing themselves, and their families, from receiving quality rest, a cornerstone of health and wellbeing.
How often do you look at a dog who is jumping on the counter, getting into the trash, or being what I like to call “aggressively friendly” to guests and think “Why can’t you just go lay down!” Interestingly, when I have encouraged pet parents to reward their dog for relaxing, I sometimes receive the response “But they aren’t doing anything…” I want to scream “Exactly!! That’s what we want them to do! But they might not know that until we tell them.”
I have found that every dog seems to have a different amount of ingrained tendency to “do nothing.” This can be influenced by breed, their stress levels in-utero and during their neonatal period, learning history, daily routine and so much more! I have seen the most chill puppies who make puppyhood look like a walk in the park, and I have seen some where I think these must have been the puppy parents who coined the phrase “puppies are not for the weak.”
I believe that 99% of the time what pet parents want for their dogs is either to communicate in a way that works for everyone (i.e., instead of jumping and mouthing me when you want to play, bring me a toy) and skills to self-regulate (calm yourself down after play and settle for a nap.) In this post, we’ll be delving deep into self-regulation, what the heck it is, and how to get your dog to do it!
Why Some Dogs Just Can't Wind Down (And What to Do About It)
The idea of rewarding your dog for being calm seems like an easy target, but often the dog doesn’t know what that looks or feels like! I affectionately call this “cranky toddler syndrome.” Everyone has experienced when a child is way over tired, but doesn’t know how to move from being awake and active to resting. We usually end up with an over-tired, grumpy tantrum.
What follows are different ways to help your dog learn what calming behavior looks AND feels like that ease this transition and help everyone settle and rest.
Be Proactive, Not Reactive
Set yourself up for success when an event that tends to amp up your dog is planned. This can look like:
- Ensuring each of your dog’s fundamental needs are met (they’ve gone potty, have eaten and drank water, had some level of physical energy burned)
- Pre-set calming activities (explained in more depth below) like a bully stick or frozen kong in an area you’d like them to relax
- Stock treats in convenient places to scatter or reward them with
- Ensuring their resting spots are easily accessible and available
Identify Your Dog's "Melty" Activity
What activities help them settle and “melt” into a cozy spot? When do you observe the behaviors that tell you they are about to settle? This is valuable information!
Pet Harmony makes no secret of our love of nosework. Sniffing can be an excellent calming activity, especially if your dog’s brain is still in overdrive!
Chewing and licking activities tend to induce almost a meditative state, where your dog’s licking is rhythmic, and we see body language like soft, blinky eyes and slow movement.
Shredding can be incredibly relaxing for some dogs! There are dogs who, with surgical precision, will pull apart each little tuft of fabric, woven thread, and piece of stuffing until the toy is nothing but scraps. I see similar body language to chewing/licking like soft blinky eyes and slow movement when this serves effectively as a calming activity.
Choose a Spot That Signals It's Time to Rest
Present different calming activities in a space that you want your dog to feel restful in. This can be a bed, on the couch, in a sunny spot by the window, or a place you have observed them choosing on their own when they are ready for a nap!
Help Your Dog Wind Down Step by Step
De-escalation refers to the behaviors that happen as your pet is starting to relax and move close to resting or sleeping. For our pets to settle, they often need at least one calming activity. It’s a big ask for our pets to return from a high energy situation and expect them to immediately lie down and nap.
Just like when we come home from a big event, we take time to wind down by performing calm activities like making tea, watching some TV, reading, or performing our nightly routine. (I’ve heard some people also doom-scroll but I wouldn’t know anything about that 👀)
Some dogs are miraculous at establishing this on their own, while others will need to be shown the process. As mentioned previously, for many dogs, sniffing, chewing, shredding, and licking are great de-escalation activities. I usually start with an activity the dog already partakes in naturally like chewing on a bully stick. I will encourage them to work on this item for a bit, then move to a frozen treat that they have to lick at for a while.
Establish a Routine
I call it a “routine” rather than a schedule because schedules constantly change! If we can create predictability in actions and events, it’s easier to adapt to late nights at the office or change in walk schedule because of the weather. It’s usually easier if our pup knows that end of walk = chew time rather than 12 pm = chew time. Will they still know how to settle if they don’t get their chew at noon?
What to Do Instead of "Just Go Lie Down"
If your dog tends to get post-walk zoomies then jump and nip at you, what behaviors would you like to see them offer instead? We might reinforce anything that involves less or slower movement, and four paws on the ground with a treat scatter.
Try a Relaxation Protocol (Yes, That's a Real Thing)
Us trainers love a good relaxation protocol! There are many worth taking a look at, but one I use frequently is Suzanne Clothier’s Really Real Relaxation. I like to start with this one specifically because it focuses on pointing out to your dog what calm actually feels like in their own bodies and identifying that they get rewarded for that feeling!
PS – Pet Harmony also has one for the pros in the audience.
Condition Calming Cues
Just like we may play white noise when we go to bed, there can also be cues for our dog that it’s time to get comfy and rest. You can do this by pairing calm music or certain dog-safe scents like lavender with restful periods, closing the window shades or turning off lights to create a low intensity space, or even moving to certain parts of your home that you only go to during restful times.
Behavior is a Study of One: How to Know if it's Working
I know you’re tired of hearing it all ready, but it bears repeating many times over. Each dog is an individual, and their version of calm will likely look different than your last dog or your friend’s dog. Here is my metric for whether a calming activity is effective:
- Is their body looser than it was before?
- Are their movements gradually slowing down?
- Are they mostly still, only occasionally changing position to get more comfy?
- Are they offering “sleepy signals” like soft, droopy eyes, big sighs, positioning themselves in the same way they do before napping?
Common Challenges
With teaching any new behavior comes new challenges. Here are some quick tips for common obstacles you may run up against:
- If you say: “My pet never stops moving” → Then: Start small! Reinforce slower movement, pauses, or any moment your dog is stationary. As your dog identifies what is being rewarded, you can increase the criteria of what you’re looking for.
- If you say: “They only calm down in certain rooms” → Then: Use environmental management to expand calm zones. Try moving their sleeping spot if it’s a bed or blanket, or replicating the lighting/sound from that area (i.e., white noise, a fan, etc.)
- If you say: “They get excited when I reach for treats” → Then: Make sure you are using a “boring food,” keeping a low soft voice, and delivering the treats gently.
Remember: progress is about frequency, not perfection.
"Doing Nothing" is a Skill
Calm is a learned behavior like everything else. Let’s teach it like one!
Though to us it may appear that our dog is “doing nothing,” they are, in fact, still offering behavior! They are lying down, engaging with a calming activity, and staying neutral to other stimuli. Since they are still learning, it will only be of benefit to guide, capture, and reward calm behavior you see.
It is also vital to remember that the energy we put out can have a big influence on our dog’s behavior! Check out Help Your Dog Relax—Start with Yourself to help identify areas where your behavior can also help build your dog’s calming skills.
Here’s to harmony,
The Pet Harmony Team
Now What?
Try spending one day this week noticing whenever your pet offers calm behaviors. You might be surprised how many are already there waiting for you! You can also check out our November 2020 Training Challenge: Capturing Calm
Helping pets to self regulate and provide relief to the whole family is something we are constantly teaching at Pet Harmony! If you need support in helping your pet relax, we’re always here for you!
Copyright 2025 Pet Harmony, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
Set it and Forget it: Enrichment Strategies for Busy Times
Cover image courtesy of Sam Pierce (Dognitive Behavior and Training)
Life sure is funny. It seems like just yesterday that I was talking to you about preparing the household for the transition of returning to school and here we are again, preparing for yet another transition.
Holiday season, winter doldrums, arctic freeze, anyway you slice it, things are in the process of changing…again. And if you have been following us for any length of time, you will already know that we are particularly passionate about three things around these parts: welfare and wellbeing, meeting an animals’ needs and responding proactively to the changes that living life on the daily brings.
We humans are really good at putting pressure on ourselves and especially around holiday time it can feel like things need to be “just so” in order to be good. I am here to both challenge the notion that things have to be perfect to be good and that it is ok to take some shortcuts every now and then especially if they help us ease into a new transition.
Now I want you to imagine your best cheesy salesperson voice and let me introduce you to the concept of Set it and forget it Enrichment Strategies: the One and Only True Way to Survive the Holiday Season! New and improved and guaranteed to make your lives easier!
Ok, all joking and hyperbole aside, I am going to present to you some ideas to help you make meeting your dog’s needs just a little bit easier during the upcoming busy season. I promise that it will be manageable and take just a wee bit of effort on your part but you will get paid exponentially in doggy kisses, kitty purrs, a more satisfied pet and hopefully a little more wiggle room in your already busy schedule. How’s that for a sales pitch? Are you ready to read on?
What Does “Set It and Forget It” Enrichment Mean?
The whole idea of “set it and forget it” essentially means that once you arrange something, it will then work automatically and thus requires little to no further attention. When it comes to enrichment our goal for “set it and forget it” includes the following concepts:
- Enrichment doesn’t have to mean daily crafts or complicated activities.
- Enrichment systems can keep working even when you’re busy.
- The enrichment strategies should build consistency, predictability, and calm for both pets and people.
The goal is to have our strategy be low-effort for you, foster independence in your pet and be sustainable in the long term. A quick overview of some examples might include:
- Rotating enrichment stations
- Safe spaces that stay stocked
- Long-lasting chews or puzzle feeders that don’t require supervision
Build Your Enrichment Menu
Ask any chef and they will tell you one of the most important parts of cooking is not the finished plate but rather two important aspects that come before the cooking. Chefs spend time creating a menu in its entirety and then prep by creating something called the mise en place. Which is just the fancy French way of saying everything in its place. Meaning that before a chef cooks the meal, they first must decide what it is they will be cooking and then prepare and organize all the tools and ingredients they will need to cook it. Veggies must be chopped, herbs and spices measured, workstation cleaned, equipment readily accessible and knives at the ready. Only then does the true artistry of cooking commence.
Part of “setting it and forgetting it” is to create your menu first and your mise en place second. Just like a chef, creating an enrichment menu for your pet will help lessen your labor in the long run. You can read more about this here: Create Your Pet’s Enrichment Menu but here are some easy steps to create a menu:
Identify your pet’s favorite enrichment types (eating, chewing, foraging, destructables, exploring, playing, etc)
- Identify your pet’s favorite enrichment types (eating, chewing, foraging, destructables, exploring, playing, etc).
- Gather a few go-to items for each category.
- Keep materials organized and easy to access in a location where you can gather everything you need. This might be a shelf in the pantry, a corner of the freezer, a section of a closet or even a storage bin.
Creating an inventory of what material you will need for your mise en place may feel like a bit of labor now, but once it is done, will save time in the long run. Creating a visual menu or checklist or spreadsheet now will help for those times when we need to make quick decisions, especially when time or energy is low.
Long-Term Calming Projects
One of my personal favorites for “set it and forget it” enrichment is a category that Pet Harmony refers to as long term calming projects.
Long term calming projects are enrichment activities whose goal is to help your pet better self-regulate, gain independence, de-escalate, and ease into rest and or relaxation. Resting, self regulation, independence and learning how to de-escalate are skills that can be taught, practiced, and learned, and long term calming projects are a big component of that process for our consulting team.
Here are some examples of long term calming projects for dogs:
- Snuffle mats
- Licki mats
- Stuffed Kongs or Toppls
- Chewing preferred items
And for cats and other obligate carnivores (such as ferrets):
- Small stuffed Kongs
- Licki mats
- Snuffle mats
Safe Spaces That Work on Autopilot
The holiday season can be stressful for everyone including our pets. Schedules are upended, visitors are more frequent and predictability and routine are tossed by the wayside. Creating a safe space that your pet can retreat to when things feel overwhelming for them is a crucial part of a set it and forget it strategy.
We want our pets to know that they have a space that is always available to them if they need time away from the hustle and bustle. This can be a crate, a room or a section of the home where they will feel secure, they can rest, and where they will not be disturbed.
If your pet doesn’t have a defined safe space yet, watch where they currently rest and see if that will function as one. Remember though, if your pet’s preferred resting location is the family room couch and that is where a lot of activity will be happening in the next several weeks, you may want to help them learn that another location is quieter, calmer, and more relaxing.
Providing a long term calming project in the new location, and pairing it with sound masking to cut down on ambient noise and your pet’s favorite blanket or bed can help boost the overall performance of the safe space.
When it comes to safe spaces it is incredibly important to understand that the safe space is not just about a location. It is mostly about the feeling of security it brings to your pet when the guests are gathered around the turkey and the egg nog is freely flowing. A safe space’s goal should not necessarily be about isolation but rather about the comfort that it provides for pets who may be overstimulated by changes in their routine. If you would like more tips on how to help your pets survive the holiday season read here and here.
Results May Vary–Observe and Adjust
Good enrichment strategies of any kind should be guided by results, not by expectations. You might expect that once your pet engages with a preloaded snuffle mat they will then settle in for a long winter’s naps. However, what works for one individual may not work for another and it is important to adjust not only our expectations but also our plans if needed. Here are some tips to help with that:
- Observe outcomes so you can see what truly meets your pet’s needs.
- Watch body language and look for signs that the enrichment is working, ie-relaxed body language, longer rest periods, lower intensity of undesired behaviors and faster recovery time are just some of the signs that tell us our strategies are going well.
Even though we are talking about set it and forget it, it is important to note that changes occur and we should expect to pivot when necessary. Developmental stages, health status, and physicality all will vary throughout a pet’s life and we should be prepared for adjustments in our plans as needed.
Here’s to harmony,
MaryKaye
Now What?
Preparedness makes for smoother transitions and preparing for the busy weeks ahead should include your pets so that you don’t have to panic at the last minute when Fluffy decides they can’t tolerate Uncle Bub half way through the holiday feast.
To recap, ways that you can proactively prepare for the weeks ahead include the following:
- Decide on a location for where you can store prepared enrichment items for your pet
- Decide on a location that will function as your pet’s safe space
- Create your enrichment menu
- Gather the supplies and ingredients you will need to create your enrichment items
- Have young kids in the family? See if you can get their help with creating the enrichment activities. There are some great pet safe recipes online that can be used for licki mats, Kongs or Toppls
- Organize by day so that you can easily rotate items
- Pull out when you need them
Copyright 2025 Pet Harmony, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy
Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
Every Mistake a Lesson: What Pets Teach Us About Getting It Wrong
There are many, many things I love about being an animal trainer and behavior consultant, but my absolute favorite part is that I am constantly learning. Working with pets is one surprise after another, both good and bad.
But there are hard emotional parts, too. One of the things that breaks my heart the most in this profession is when meeting with pet parents whose pet is struggling, and they ask “Is this because I did *insert thing here*?”
Is my dog leash reactive because I let them greet too many dogs/not enough dogs/the wrong dogs? Does my pup have separation anxiety because I left them alone too much/not enough/when they were too young/when they were too old?
We can question ourselves all day, wondering if this event caused that behavior, but the reality is, we may never know what caused our pet to have the behavior issue they have. It could have been a single event, many events, and/or their development during critical periods, including when they are still in utero!
Because we can’t ask our furry friend why men wearing hats upsets them so much, we can only speculate. Instead of beating ourselves up over what could have caused an issue, focus on investigation, getting curious, and what you can do about it! Whether you are on a pet professional learning journey, or a pet parent learning journey, don’t be afraid to acknowledge the mistakes and see what you can learn from them!
Mistakes Happen—Here’s What I Learned from Mine
When I first got my pup Olivia at 10 weeks old, I was not yet a dog trainer or behavior consultant. I knew that was the route I wanted to take, and I studied lots of reputable resources, spoke with other dog professionals, and did all I could to try to prepare myself for raising the perfect dog.
If you’ve read any of my other blogs or seen any of my social media content, you are well aware that my dog, Olivia, has a slew of behavior issues, from leash reactivity to separation anxiety to sound phobia and more. I often think back to choices I made in the first year of Olivia’s life and cringe. I pulled her along on walks because I was frustrated she sniffed so much. I took her outside on the 4th of July to watch the fireworks with me until she panicked and ran to go back inside. I didn’t slowly acclimate her to periods of time alone and would get frustrated when I would put her in her crate during the day and she would cry. The list goes on. I even look back at old video clips and see moments where I point at the screen and go “There! Why didn’t I realize that behavior wasn’t normal? Why didn’t I DO something about it?”
The answer is I WAS doing something about it! It may have not been what I would do now, but I also didn’t have the knowledge and experience that I have now. I was doing the best I could with the information I had at the time. I spoke with my vet, with other trainers, I beefed up my own knowledge with courses and conferences and reading. So when a client says to me “Did I cause this?” my heart always breaks a little.
It is rare that I have ever encountered a person who was not acting with the best intentions for their animal. Instead of analyzing every decision you have ever made for your furry family member, time is better spent by acknowledging that though our actions may (or may not!) have had an impact on our pet’s behavior, we are continuing to learn and work towards bettering their wellbeing.
Learning That “Fine” is a Four-Letter Word
One issue I very frequently run into is that because an animal is capable of executing a behavior, the human counterpart assumes that it must reflect their internal state. For example, because my dog is capable of sitting and watching a dog pass them in close proximity, they are “fine” with dogs being near them. In reality, what we are often seeing is that the dog is shut down, is offering a “performance” of the behavior, or we will see a delay in their signs of discomfort once they are out of the situation.
A shut down dog has become so helpless in the situation that they won’t react to almost anything. And just because a dog can give a behavior when asked, doesn’t mean they are calm emotionally. I have seen dogs be able to sit and watch a dog at a distance while practically vibrating from how overstimulated they are. Or maybe your dog can sit still and act calm while watching a dog pass by, but as soon as you release them, they bolt and “sled-dog” pull you all the way home. In any of these situations, the dog is not emotionally regulated. They are still experiencing huge feelings and are unsure how to cope with it.
I’m familiar with these situations because it’s what I do for a living! I wouldn’t expect a dog parent to recognize these signs, especially when we are conditioned to put our dog’s obedience as the primary focus of training. I sometimes surprise clients when they learn their dog is expressing discomfort in contexts where the humans understood them to be fine. However, now that we know, we can explore how to increase our dog’s sense of security and agency, and therefore create positive behavior change.
Professional Lessons I Learned at Home
As a professional trainer and behavior consultant, I have also made many mistakes. Like any profession, you occasionally are going to get cases that test your abilities and knowledge and cause you to scratch your head. Now I know when I am hitting that point and am able to consult my mentors or refer to a parallel professional like a veterinarian, veterinary behaviorist, or other knowledgeable trainer/consultant.
One thing I am reminded of time and time again is how dogs almost always tell us what they want or need, we just have to learn how to listen. When dealing with Olivia’s leash reactivity, I had to try a lot of different things to find what helped her:
- What equipment was she the most comfortable in?
- What length of leash worked best for her?
- What kind of areas did she prefer to walk and sniff in?
- What places/times of day did walks feel safe and secure?
- What skills did she need to learn to feel safe and secure?
- Did we need to go on a walk every day?
The way I measured the outcomes of these trials was noting how Olivia acted before, during, and after her walks. I wanted to see that she could calmly engage with the environment around her, but still was capable of responding to me when I would ask her to check in. I wanted to see a looser body and less hypervigilance. And I wanted to see that when we returned home, she was able to settle and rest comfortably. If I didn’t see one of these things, I made an adjustment on the next walk. In fact, I’m still making adjustments!
It’s also important to note that there are factors in our dogs’ comfort levels that we won’t be able to directly identify. They may be feeling unwell or they may have slept badly the night before, causing them to have a particularly hard day. The best thing we can do is look at our pup’s body language. This is the loudest way they can tell us what they are feeling. The more we can respond appropriately to our dog’s feelings when they show us, the less likely they are to continue to escalate the undesired behavior.
The Role of Curiosity and Compassion in Moving Forward
When we see our pets performing a behavior we don’t like or understand, the first thing we should do is ask why they are performing the behavior. What is the function? Are they trying to get access to something, or make something go away? Is this a behavior they have done before, or is this a new development?
Next, note down the following:
- What body language are they displaying before, during, and after the behavior?
- What happened in the environment before, during, and after the behavior occurred?
- Is this behavior actually a problem? (That depends on your household, but sometimes what you’re seeing is normal dog behavior!)
- When was the last time your dog went to the vet?
- Many behavior changes can be linked to a medical cause. If your dog is struggling with a new problem behavior, it’s a good idea to consult your vet.
Focus on objective questions and observations. A question like “Is my dog mad?” can’t be answered factually because we can’t ask the dog. A question like “What behavior/body language is my dog showing?” turns the focus to what you can observe. Noting that a dog is growling, barking, lunging, and air snapping is factual and informative.
We use observable data to begin answering the functional questions about behavior. Armed with more information, we can change one piece of the puzzle at a time. Based on your observations, what did you find out? How does that impact what you will try next?
Lessons That Stick: How to Continue Building
I find that when clients have begun to see good progress on the behavior front, they often are fearful of pushing too far and setting back the progress that they have made. We are always looking for a balance between keeping our dogs feeling safe and secure, and continuing to build their resilience and skill application. The truth is, there is no concrete answer to the question of how and when to move on to the next, more challenging step in your dog’s behavior plan. No matter how perfect our timing, how solid the skills we’ve taught, or how exact we have set up the environment, there will always be errors.
So much is out of our control. Dogs will come charging at you from out of thin air, a loud noise will happen right as you are finally getting your dog to potty after the 4th of July, and you will give your dog a treat right as they start barking. Just as we understand that our dogs make mistakes and have big feelings, so should that compassion extend to yourself as a human being who is doing their best. The best we can do is consider the dog in front of us and observe their body language and responses in the environment. I’ve found that once you have good foundational skills on board, our pets are often more forgiving than we think!
Remember, no one is perfect. I remember tugging on Olivia because she wasn’t loose leash walking with me at 14 weeks old! There is no point in obsessing over past mistakes and whether or not they put you where you are today. The only way forward is, well, forward! Reach out to a professional to help you get some outside insight as to what your pet is experiencing and what you can do about it. You will never regret learning more for, with, and about your dog.
Here’s to harmony,
Claire
Now What?
When working through a behavior issue with your pet, make a list of questions you have about the behavior. Even if you don’t yet have all the answers, this will put you on the right track to identifying the function of the behavior and what we can do to help!
Whether it’s a mistake you’ve made or one you’re afraid of making, we’re here to help without judgement! Don’t be afraid to reach out to a trainer or behavior consultant for assistance.
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Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
Warmer, Not Colder: Why Clear Guidance Matters in Pet Training
Have you ever thought to yourself something like…
“Will you just stop barking?”
“Can you not scratch my couch up?”
“For the love of all things good and pure, please get off of me.”
“Stop pulling on the leash.”
“Quit pushing the glass off the table!”
“Get out of the trash!”
Come on, be honest. If you haven’t had one of these thoughts, you’ve had a similar gripe or complaint about something you want your pet to stop doing.
It’s normal! It isn’t something to be ashamed about or feel guilty for. There are plenty of things I wish my dogs or other animals in my care would stop doing. Have you ever tried to maintain a fresh water source for a parrot? I can promise you, it isn’t easy! The way they leave bits of food in water is a very normal part of food acquisition and consumption for them. But changing their water constantly to keep it clean can be incredibly frustrating for us.
But here’s the kicker. If you want to do something about it, focusing on the stop, cease, quit isn’t going to be helpful. Like at all. It may give you a vague idea of an end point, but it provides you little to no guidance for the journey.
Warmer / Colder
Do y’all remember the warmer/colder game you’d play as a kid. Where there was a “hot spot” in the room, and using the cues “warmer” and “colder,” you needed to guide your teammate to the hot spot?
Imagine how hard that game would be if you only could say colder, if you couldn’t provide any information that your teammate is getting “warmer” to the correct answer. If you were lucky, maybe you only had 20 square feet that you were playing in, and it would only 19-ish “colders.” But imagine if there were hundreds, or thousands, of things that your teammate could try before finding the hot spot. It’s going to be a miserable activity for both of you. You’re going to get frustrated, and no one likes to be wrong that often. It feels terrible. But getting that feedback that you’re warmer is stellar, and exciting.
Let’s Look at an Example:
Let’s pretend that my partner has a routine of coming home, walking over to the couch, taking his shoes off, and leaving them between the couch and the coffee table.
And I hate that. I have a history of tripping on his shoes or stubbing my toe, and I can’t stand all the pine needles he’s bringing into the house.
I want him to stop leaving his shoes by the couch.
So when he walks to the couch, I say “No.”
When he starts to take a shoe off, I say “No.”
He puts a shoe on the ground, I say “No.”
That’s not terribly helpful, right? I’ve managed to tell him he’s wrong in like 85 different ways, and boy, oh boy, he has thousands of alternative things he could do that I seriously wouldn’t like. I mean, what if one day, I walk into the kitchen and he’s like “Whelp, might as well try leaving my shoes in the kitchen sink?!” And yes, I intend this to be a fanciful example. However, I wouldn’t put it past my partner to think outside of the box. All of this is to say, instead, I can look at what I do want.
I want my partner to stop at the front door, take his shoes off, and leave them on the mat.
Now is the fun part. I get to get curious. I get to get creative. I get to play Nancy Drew: The Case of the Annoying Shoes. I get to investigate why that isn’t already happening. Why is coming in, walking to the couch, sitting down, taking the shoes off, and leaving them there the path of least resistance for him?
Maybe the mat is too small, and we need a bigger mat to accommodate all of our shoes. Maybe it bothers him when his shoes get buried under all of mine.
Maybe he needs a place to sit to take off his shoes, and that’s why he’s walking all the way to the couch.
Maybe he goes to the couch because that is where his slippers are, and we’ve been caught in this terrible cycle because of ease of access.
By identifying what I did want, I now get to do the trial and eval and I can get warmer, not just colder.
Problem Solving in Practice
Comparing this to behavior consulting…what each family wants and needs is unique. This isn’t a comprehensive list of options. So while these are some of the wants from my clients, yours may be different!
“Will you just stop barking?” –> “Can you bark twice and then come find me?”
“Can you not scratch my couch up?” –> “Scratch this scratching post instead.”
“For the love of all things good and pure, please get off of me.” –> “Go to bed.”
“Stop pulling on leash.” –> “Walk within 3 feet of me.”
“Quit pushing the glass off the table!” –> “4 on the floor (or in this case, table)”
“Get out of the trash!” –> “Find a toy in your toy bin.”
“Will you stop dirtying your water?!” –> “I want you to have clean water, let’s try more bowls.”
Identify What You Want
This sounds pretty simple, right? That doesn’t mean it is easy. I’m not going to lie, this can be HARD. Especially when something hurts, when something is causing us pain or friction. We just want it to stop. And that’s where a little bit of help comes in.
When I’m working with families, identifying what they want is often one of the first steps. Part of my job as their behavior consultant is to help them translate their pain point into an actionable plan. I have a robust database of options of what they may want, and that means I can do the heavy lifting as long as they get descriptive–and that usually means I’m asking a lot of questions, like:
- Surrounding your current pain point, imagine your perfect situation with your pet. What does that look like? What does that feel like? What would that mean for you and your family?
- Pretend you’re a fiction author and you need to describe, in detail, your dream situation with your pet. How would you describe it?
- Give me five out-of-the-box things that you think would solve your problem.
- What are things you’ve pondered, but aren’t sure about?
As I mentioned with in this podcast episode talking about enrichment, allergies and Griffey’s journey, having a team to collaborate with makes a huge difference. I don’t need to be the expert in allergy management, I just need to be the expert in me, my family, and Griffey. I was able to use my team to determine what needed to happen, so I could use my bandwidth to make it happen.
Now What?!
If you are stuck with something regarding your pet, ask yourself if you’ve identified what you do want. Do you already have a plan in place to tell your pet that they are warmer, or are you only focused on giving feedback for the “colder”?
Set yourself up to succeed in reinforcing approximations of or the behavior you are looking for by having treat jars already filled and set out. Check out this podcast episode on troubleshooting and problem-solving if you’d like to dive deeper into these topics!
Here’s to harmony!
Ellen
You Have to Practice Before the Test
When I’m giving a client a new activity, I always tell them to practice first in scenarios where they’ll be more successful. For example, practicing loose leash walking or the flight cue inside. Or Look at That or a greeting strangers protocol with faux triggers or people they know. Every now and then, someone will come back to me with:
I tried what you said to do and it didn’t work.
After some sleuthing, we sometimes find that the problem is that they tried to use it in a more difficult situation before they or their pet were ready. That happens to all of us (myself included!) at some point! But, if we go straight to testing without practicing, we usually fail the test.
Practice makes perfect
This cliche applies to behavior modification: practice makes perfect. Well, as close to perfect as we can expect from a living, breathing individual with free will. The situations in which we want to use our pet’s skills are usually higher stress situations, either due to excitement or distress. I liken this to a “test”, where you’re expected to perform skills you’ve been learning in a higher stress situation. But the only way to do well in that type of situation is to practice a lot in easier scenarios that gradually build in difficulty.
Imagine we plucked someone off the street, told them the basics of brain surgery, and then asked them to perform brain surgery on someone. Show of hands of who’d like that person to operate on them? That’s a hell no from me! I want someone who’s gone through school, practiced on cadavers, and has operated on a bunch of people before me. I want someone who’s practiced.
Teaching our pets something once or twice and then asking them to perform it in a high-stress situation is like asking someone we’ve plucked off the street to perform brain surgery. It’s just not going to go well. And, if through luck it does, it’s not going to be predictably replicable. We need to practice in easier situations that gradually build in difficulty in order for them to succeed.
What do easier situations look like?
This will be different depending on the skill or maladaptive behavior we’re talking about and where the pet is in their learning journey. In general, easier situations can look like something as simple as you and your pet training in your living room without anyone else around or it can look like a watered-down version of the situation you’re working up to. You have a lot of options when it comes to an easier situation. In general, choose a scenario where you’re pretty sure your pet will be successful.
Keep in mind that “easier” is subjective, and is based on current skills. Calculus is easy for someone with a Ph.D. in math but it’s hard for a 3rd grader. Staying still is hard for a puppy but is easy for a service dog. The goal is to practice in situations that gradually increase in difficulty but for each step to still be easy for your pet’s current skill level.
Now what?
- Determine what an easier situation looks like for a skill you’re trying to teach.
- Start practicing! If your pet is doing well, keep practicing. If they’re not doing well in that situation, that means it’s currently too difficult for them. Go back to the drawing board to figure out what would be easier for them and try again.
Happy training!
Allie
