You know that social media meme that’s like “you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation…” then cuts to an increasingly chaotic series of events? I had a moment like that wandering through the woods with my dog Petey recently. I found myself marveling at the maniac before me as he dug at the base of a fallen tree and then proceeded to shove his head out the other side and look at me.
I know I live a very different life with my dog. And when we experience these moments of joy together, I can’t help but think about all of the work Petey, Big Man, and I have done to get here. It’s not always easy, but that’s why it’s important to take time to honor that journey. So here are seven things that I have no regrets doing with and for Petey the Wondermutt.
#1: Listening to him
#2: Taking off on adventures
Remember how wild 2020 was? Not that anything has settled down since then, but at the start of lockdown, in April of 2020, I lost my last corporate job. I had been in this position before (y’all remember 2009…sidebar: check on your elder millennial friends, we are tired), so the blow of having my position eliminated felt less personal this time, but the uncertainty of the first months of the pandemic meant I knew job hunting wasn’t happening for a while. So I loaded Petey up and off we went to get dirty and watch the seasons change.
After that, my little 2007 Nissan Versa was almost exclusively used for getting out and about with Pete. I have driven multiple hours to different SniffSpots in Michigan and Indiana. For all of Petey’s sensitivities, he is a great passenger. So I pack some snacks, and off we go!
Walking a dog like Petey is rarely relaxing as I execute my duties as Stimulus Curator, Long Line Wrangler, Snack Czar, and Tripping Hazard Coordinator. But there are some spaces that feel safe enough for me to just enjoy being with my boy. Those moments are so precious to me that I will continue to put miles on my new (to me) ride in order to pursue them.
#3: Sharing snacks
In our household, we speak a few love languages. For Big Man, there’s Being In On The Bit, Little Guys, and Snacks. For me, Chores I Don’t Have to Do, Little Guys, and Snacks. And for Petey there’s Don’t Move (I’m Comfy), The Hose, and Snacks. If a snack is worth having, it’s worth sharing. Any time we make a special meal for a holiday, Petey gets a small plate. If we have a particularly spectacular breakfast, there’s a little Petey plate (sometimes it’s Peteycakes!). If we’re snacking on popcorn and watching a movie, we’re also tossing over some Peteycorn.
I’m well aware of foods my dog should not eat, and for those foods I sadly explain to him that they are “not for dogs,” and give him something else. As for helping Petey keep his boyish figure, his daily snack intake is figured into his meals for the day.
#4: Giving him cute things to destroy
Look, sometimes I need to buy my dog a giant plush baguette toy for my mental health, okay? Once he decides a toy needs to die, will he completely gut it in seconds? Yes, absolutely. But I never know which toys will meet a swift death and which ones are destined to be carried around. So I will continue to buy funny toys for the days he carries a fake loaf of bread longer than his body up and down the stairs, or meets me at the back door with it, or brings it into bed and hits me (softly, because it’s plush) in the face with it, or brings it into the bathroom for emotional support.
Peter is a founding member of the Canine Enrichment Trash Gang. We rely heavily on cardboard and other packaging materials for free shreddy enrichment. But when I spot a giant pickle at TJ Maxx? All bets are off.
#5: Being obsessed with him
If you’ve never commissioned someone to draw your pet and then had those drawings made into stickers and buttons that you give away to friends, you are living life differently than me.
Having a dog who struggles with the human world is really isolating. My parents will never meet their granddog face-to-face. There is a running joke with folks who have stayed in our home that we live in a sitcom with a dog nobody has ever seen. Our vet and VB have both lamented wanting to pet his scruffy body. But we take our responsibility as the people of a bite-risk dog seriously, so most everyone has to admire his handsomeness from afar.
So I share art of him. I send my friends Galentines and seal the envelopes shut with a Petey stamp. My purse has Petey pins on it. My friends’ water bottles, laptops, and who knows what else are stickered with my boy. These are Petey’s niblings. This is my community. And when things are complicated or hard, I can look at pictures of our adventures, the drawings on my wall, the stickers on my notebook, and lean on the people who also love my dog.
#6: Putting him on meds
Finding the right combination of meds for Petey has made our life together possible. Full stop.
I didn’t get to see how smart, fearless, and goofy my dog could be until we had our meds figured out. His post vet visit recovery is much smoother with the right pre-visit meds and sedation protocol. Meds are not a last resort in this house – they are a lifeline.
#7: Letting him change my whole life
When I tell you I wouldn’t be sitting here typing this blog if it weren’t for Peter, I mean it. I began my trainer/behavior consultant learning journey for him. I had no idea where any of this would take me, and if I’ve learned anything throughout my varied career, I still have no idea where it will go. But I’m grateful to the cinderblock with muppet hair, my biological son, the Butter Boy himself, Peter Leroy, for being my polestar.
Where do we go from here?
I am acutely aware of the effects that stress and anxiety can have on the long-term physical, mental, and emotional health of a dog. So let me say the hard part out loud: Petey’s particular behavior challenges could mean his life ends up being shorter than normal. In this household, we will continue to prioritize joy and experiences and cultivate chaos for all the rest of our days together.
Now What?
What’s important to you in the way you live with your pets? How can you use these principles to guide the skills you work on, the way you interact, and what you do together as a family? And, most importantly, when was the last time you shared a snack with your pet? It’s okay if they have to eat something different from you due to allergies, etc. 😉 Take some time to capture some moments that matter to you this week!
Here’s to harmony!
Tiffany
I loved reading more about Petey. The writing is great and gives me additional permission to be crazy in love with my dog even if the humans I share my life with don’t get it all the time
You don’t need anyone’s permission to be crazy in love with your dog, but you definitely have mine regardless! <3 Life is short, love them puppies.
I love my Petey sticker. Even in sticker form, he has chutzpah. I love how you leaned into being transformed by your scruffy nugget. In our life, Auggie’s okay with people at an appropriate distance, so friends are able to see him, but no touching! No matter how cute he is being.
Peter definitely has chutzpah, and I’m glad he can be admired in sticker form by many! Also, I feel like Auggie and I have a lot in common…