Training advice can quietly warp into impossible standards. “Daily sessions” becomes “if I miss one, I’ve failed.” Here’s how to name that trap and see why consistent, sustainable effort beats flawless execution every time. Through real examples, you’ll see what “good enough” training actually looks like — tossing treats instead of running a perfect protocol, swapping a hike for a cardboard box to shred. Find out why sustainable plans, not comprehensive ones, are the ones that actually create lasting change.
Tag: enrichment
Navigating Transitions With Kids and Pets
This blog is coming at ya from Corinne: trainer, behavior consultant, former teacher, and (among many other things) mom of 3 (2 human, 1 fluffy). My dog is 9 and my kids are 3 and 5 years old and it feels like every 6 months we’re hitting a new milestone/struggle/personality trait/anything to make you laugh at yourself when you thought you had it all figured out.
People. Having kids is hard. Not like oh, how do I keep them alive and what do I do with them when they misbehave, kind of hard but, like, I’m constantly having to make choices based on many thoughts, many opinions, and many outcomes while also controlling my own emotions and protecting the lives of these helpless beings kind of hard. I didn’t know that (sorry, Mom).
Let me be the first to tell you that I don’t have it all figured out. And neither do you. And neither does anyone. And my guess is that if you’re feeling challenged by all these changes as the badass caregiver that you are, the other creatures are probably also feeling the challenge as well… but showing it a little differently. But that doesn’t mean we can’t navigate through it with a mix of confidence, reflection, and flexibility. In those stages where I feel like I’ve really been able to go with the flow, I’ve realized it’s usually because I was mentally, and sometimes physically, prepared before we got there.
Understanding Developmental Stages—For Kids and Pets
Ok, let’s go back to where I always go back to (thanks Dr. Friedman): why does behavior occur? A very bastardized simplification of the study of behavior sciences is that behavior occurs as a response to the environment. So a change in environment can likely cause a change in behavior, especially if the learner doesn’t recognize the available consequences.
Developmental stages? Socialization periods? Schedule changes? All things for us to keep an eye out for in how our learners are experiencing the world.
Before we can have a plan to know what to do when, we have to understand the aspects of what happens when. So let’s take a look at both human and dog developmental stages.
On the human-kid side of things, we can roughly break it down into the following stages:
- Newborn: Potatoes that mostly sleep/eat/poop, but those little coos and stretches can be very alarming for a dog who has never heard/seen that before and just wants predictability.
- Baby: Big-brained blobs that still need to be transported everywhere and are starting to figure out their limbs as well as cause-and-effect, which again, can be alarming for a dog who just wants predictability.
- Toddler: Big-brained, mobile wobblers who don’t have self-awareness or empathy of other creatures that have realized they can also manipulate the environment to get what they want, but sometimes their bodies can’t do what their minds tell them to, which again, can be alarming for a dog who just wants predictability.
- School-aged: Big-brained, super agile ninjas who want to be independent and contribute, but can’t/don’t exactly know what to be doing and also are realizing that they can have an effect on the world.
- Teenage: Big-mushy-brained individuals who are finding themselves in the world and asking the BIG questions and feeling the BIG feelings and can confidently carry out their actions with independence, regardless of the forethought.
Just bringing a child into the home and meeting their needs alone comes with a constant change of how we and they are interacting with the environment. As they get older their own awareness of their impact on their surroundings change, and their desire to be a part of the plan changes, and the schedule of the days changes, and the amount of people visiting the house changes, and the tuba drones from the basement add a particularly tasty seasoning to the ambiance of the house. All of this can be really stressful on pets, so it’s no surprise when we see new behaviors pop up because the environment has changed.
Add to that, if you’re working with kids and a puppy, you’ve got all the things listed above going on as well as the dog’s critical socialization period, their fear periods, their teething phase, the possible hormonally dictated cycles starting, and the classic about-to-be-a-year-and-I-forgot-we-don’t-eat-out-of-the-garage pitfalls. As a dog enters their senior years (which happens way too fast for our brains to comprehend) they may start having physical limitations that we’ve never considered before or feeling more ouchy after lots of rest or exercise.
For both our kids and our pets, they are going through lots of change, so regression is normal and to be expected. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve done anything “wrong”, but I do think that it makes you feel less frustrated when we can go into it knowing what the developmental periods are for both species and feeling prepared that you’ll probably hit some potholes.
When it comes down to it, they’re both learning how to “life” and they’re looking to you for the “how”, so put on that oxygen mask, toots.
Take a breath–these new stages don't have to mean new stress
Let’s brainstorm some solutions for common chaos moments to get the problem-solving juices flowing (and here’s a podcast episode where Emily and I discuss incorporating kids into enrichment plans). Again, remember that tiny Dr. Friedman in your ear– if you want to change behavior, think first on changing the environment.
- Morning chaos: Pup gets breakfast in a snuffle mat on the other side of a baby gate away from flailing arms and open exits.
- Changing schedules: Before the end of the summer, do a couple trial runs of what the new routine is going to be, giving yourself plenty of days to alter.
- Less time to get everything done: Replace your morning walk with a game of hide and seek, followed by some scatterfeeding/foraging with breakfast.
- Empty house during the day: Honestly my dog has been thriving, so maybe it’s fine, but maybe adding some sound masking can help the silence or hiring a local college-aged kid to pop in for some cuddles.
- Kids are too loud after school: practice incorporating a relaxation project in a separate safe space.
- Kids are running amok: Involve them! Let them spread the yogurt on the lick mat, spray the cheese into the Kong, fill the toilet paper tubes with kibble, hide the foraging surprises around the house, read to the pup while they do a calming project, count the kibble in a cup of food and place into the dinner dish.
If you want more thoughts on school schedule changes and how to prep, check out these two blogs and a podcast: Back to School, Not Back to Stress & 5 Ideas for Bark to School & Podcast Episode #63 – Bark to School: Helping Pets with Routine Changes
Again, you’re going to be experiencing so much “new” with kids and dogs, it’s not always going to be smooth sailing. Normalize baby gates, boundaries, & “go do your thang” projects. If you’re planning on expecting anything, expect that there will be adjustments, not that there will be perfection.
Playtime, family walkies, and even a puzzle. Opie and his kiddos are always learning and growing together!
Our kids and pets (and us!!!) have amazing, big, beautiful, complex brains. If we are living, we are learning, so all these tough transitions can be opportunities for growth. Let the frustration that come with setbacks be the trigger for you to take a step back and observe with your senses, not your stories, not a trigger to tell you that you are a failure, because you aren’t. We can teach our kids and pets resiliency and flexibility, and that comes from them watching you do your amazing thang.
You can bend but not break
Yes, preparation will help physically and emotionally, but it’s not going to be perfect, and that’s perfectly fine. Do you remember that Dashboard Confessional lyric “I can bend but not break?” Well, thank you prep plans and Chris Carrabba! (Also, did you know little kid bones can experience what’s called a “buckle fracture” where they bend but don’t break but they still need a boot? Now I do.)
Celebrate those small wins where you saw something start to go sideways and you pivoted. Party on when your planning and preparation work (hint: if the management worked, the management worked, that’s good!). Smile at that moment when you see your 3-year-old reach out towards his dog, stop himself, turn his hand upside down, and wait to see if the pup puts his chin in his hand.
People. It’s worth saying again, having kids is hard.
Life changes. Preparation, empathy, and grace make those changes smoother for everyone.
Here’s to harmony,
Corinne
Now What?
- Take a few minutes this week to look ahead—what transitions are on your horizon, and how can you set everyone up for success?
- Comment below with a success you’d like to brag about, really!
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Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
Why Your Cat Needs a Safe Space (and How to Build One That Works)
Cats, like other sentient beings, can get anxious and/or overwhelmed by their environment and the other beings in it from time to time. And like other sentient beings, if they don’t have a way to escape that chronic stress, it can impact both their physical health and their behavioral health. When I worked with clients I used to tell them that the sustained pressure of living with chronic stress will eventually come out somehow: through explosion, implosion, sublimation, or learned helplessness.
- Explosion looks like conflict-seeking behaviors–like cats fighting each other.
- Implosion looks like self-harming behaviors–in cats, that often looks like overgrooming to the point of damaging their coat and sometimes even their skin.
- Sublimation looks like acting out in seemingly unrelated ways–like peeing in your boots.
- Learned helplessness in cats often looks like a loss of personality and behavioral diversity, just doing the bare minimum to take care of themselves and stay alive.
One of the most impactful things we can do to alleviate that chronic stress and prevent any of those kinds of harm from happening to our kitties is create a dedicated safe space just for them. Whether you’re bringing home a new cat, managing a multi-pet household, or simply supporting a shy or anxious kitty, a well thought out safe space can be the difference between a stressed out cat and one who feels confident enough to explore the world around them and genuinely enjoy their life.
At Pet Harmony, we believe in setting up environments that support the behaviors we want to see. So let’s talk about what a feline safe space looks like, why it’s so powerful, and how you can create one that meets your cat’s unique needs.
What Is a Safe Space for a Cat?
A safe space is a quiet, cozy, and low-traffic area where your cat can retreat, decompress, and feel in control of their surroundings. Think of it as your cat’s personal sanctuary—free from stressors, full of comfort, and of course full of opportunities for cats to meet their own needs.
A safe space can be a whole room – like a guest bedroom – or a designated nook—like a cozy corner with a tall cat tree and a hiding spot. The key is that your cat feels safe there, and that security often comes from choice, control, and predictability.
Why Your Cat Needs a Safe Space
Cats as a species are both predators and prey, which means they can have a tendency to be hyper-aware of their surroundings and therefore can be really sensitive to everything that’s happening around them. Changes in routine, unfamiliar guests, renovations, or even a new smell can be enough of a stressor to set them off kilter.
On top of that, interpersonal dynamics among cats or between cats and other species can be pretty subtle and hard for us to notice, but can function as significant chronic stressors for them. I had a client where the only sign of conflict between two cats was that one would give the other a hard stare when she tried to approach the litter box, water bowl, or food bowl that the first cat was guarding. That look was enough to cause major distress in the second cat that resulted in a urinary tract infection and persistent inappropriate elimination, even after the infection was resolved. I’ve also worked with multiple clients where the source of the cat’s chronic stress was a mystery until we discovered that a stray cat was marking their territory in their yard.
The take-home point is that the source of a cat’s stress isn’t always immediately obvious to us, and they will do better if they have the ability to move away from their stressors on their own. A safe space gives them the choice to step away and complete their stress response cycle.
How to Set Up a Cat-Friendly Safe Space
Let’s break this down into manageable steps so you can set your cat up for success.
1. Choose the Right Location
Pick a quiet area away from high foot traffic, loud appliances, or busy windows. If you live in a bustling household, a guest room or home office with a door that can close is ideal. If space is limited, try using a tall piece of furniture, curtain dividers, or even a modified closet. If the other pets in your home are contributing to the cat’s stress, make sure their respective safe spaces are separated from each other.
2. Add the Essentials
Here’s your feline-friendly checklist:
- Hiding spot: A box, covered bed, or carrier are usually good options to trial and eval.
- Vertical space: A cat tree, shelf, or wall-mounted perch are good, but ideally your cat’s perch will be the highest thing in the room–otherwise, you may find that your cat is just using the vertical space you gave them to access a space that you maybe didn’t want them to access.
- Litter box: In a discreet but accessible spot. Preferably with a ramp or low point of entry so they don’t have to climb a high barrier to get in and out of it.
- Food and water: Placed at a distance from the litter box.
- Toys and enrichment: Interactive toys, puzzle feeders, or a wand toy can all be good options, but if your cat doesn’t currently play with toys you may want to do a play preference test to find out what your cat enjoys. Give them things that they can use to entertain themselves without needing your involvement.
- Comfortable bedding: Something warm and soft that smells like them.
Pro tip: Let your cat choose where they feel safest within that space—observe and support their choices.
3. Make it Smell Familiar
Scent is a huge part of how cats experience security. Place a used t-shirt, blanket, or towel with your scent in the area. If you’re welcoming a new cat, you can try using synthetic feline pheromones like Feliway to help ease the transition, but if you have something of theirs from their previous home that smells like them, that would be ideal.
4. Limit Unwanted Access
Let your cat know this space is theirs. Keep dogs, kids, or other cats out, especially if your feline is stressed or new to the home. Respect their boundaries—this isn’t the place for unsolicited cuddles or surprise visits.
What a Safe Space is Not
Creating a safe space doesn’t mean isolating your cat or punishing them by locking them away. The goal is to offer choice and control, not confinement. Think of it as empowering your cat to engage with the world at their own pace. times that may mean giving them the ability to come and go from their safe space as they please. When that isn’t an option, the next best thing is to figure out your cat’s cues for requesting to go in and out of their space and facilitating their requests. If even that isn’t an option – because we’ve all got lives and we can’t be watching our pets 24/7 – keep an ear out for when your cat is asking to leave their safe space, so they never feel trapped there.
Safe Spaces and Behavior Goals
If you’re working with a behavior professional to address your cat’s distress – like reducing fear, reactivity, or inappropriate elimination – a safe space is often the foundation of your plan. Why? Because learning only happens when an animal feels safe. And just like us, cats can’t thrive if they’re constantly on edge.
If you’ve been following us for any amount of time you have almost certainly heard us say this: Behavior is communication. If your cat is hiding, hissing, or avoiding someone in your household, they may be telling you they don’t feel safe. Meeting that need is the first step toward changing their behavior and improving their physical, behavioral, and emotional health.
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re welcoming a kitten or supporting a senior cat through a big life change, creating a safe space is a gift of agency and care. It tells your cat, “You’re safe here. You’re in control. You get to choose.”
And from that foundation, trust grows. Confidence builds. And your relationship with them blossoms.
Here’s to harmony,
Emily
Now What?
Need help setting up the perfect safe space for your cat—or navigating behavior challenges? Our team at Pet Harmony offers personalized, evidence-based support to help your pet thrive. Let’s make life easier for you and your feline friend.
Copyright 2025 Pet Harmony, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Terms & Conditions, Privacy Policy
Results are not guaranteed because behavior, human, canine, or otherwise, are not guaranteeable.
Trick or (go Find a) Treat in Your Safe Space!
A harvest moon settles in the sky shining brightly through the hazy clouds. The house is warm and toasty with the smell of chili wafting through the kitchen. A candy bowl perches proudly on the hall table waiting to be emptied. A deep wind blows– Fido pulls his ears back. A shadow creeps past the window– Fido lifts his head. The crunch of tiny feet on leaves– Fido sits up tall and begins to pant, his ear high and attentive. The footsteps get closer to your front door and Fido closes his mouth to halt all inefficient movement beside the twitch of his curious nose. The footsteps stop. . . he lowers his head. The whispers echo. . . he slowly inches forward. The door bell rings. . . “TRICK OR TREAT!!!” (and Fido bumbly runs to the door knocking over the candy bowl and you to greet the visitors who are surely only here to see him and not get their loot).
Sound familiar?
Whether it’s Lock, Shock, and Barrel, the UPS person, a solicitor, or just a family member that wasn’t thinking, these people ringing the doorbell can put your pup into a spiral of exuberance/fear and it can be hard to reign them back into their thinking brains. My suggestion is to give them something TO do when they hear the doorbell to provide comfort, predictability, management, and a new learning history. Let’s teach them that:
DOORBELL = GO TO SAFE SPACE!
If your dog already has a cue to go to their safe space, now might be the perfect time to experiment with this new doorbell cue (if they don’t have a cue yet, why not try it with this!). This is known as a cue transfer, and the order it’s taught is:
New cue > old cue > [behavior] > reinforcement
You may have already done this accidentally with other things. Maybe you taught sit with just a lure, which became the hand signal, and then you added a verbal cue.
“Sit” [new cue] > hand signal [old cue] > butt contacts floor > treat
After enough consistency, you might be able to say “sit” and the pup would put 2+2 together and put his butt on the ground before you even do the hand signal. Cue transfers like this happen all the time even without our conscious effort, but knowing how to do it intentionally is a super helpful tool.
That means that for this cue transfer we’ll do:
Doorbell [new cue] > “go to place” [old cue] > goes to place > treat (or other reinforcement)
Let’s put it together, people! Here’s the steps I would use in a 3-5 min training exercise (modifying as necessary):
- Get a bunch of yummy treats and one long term calming project.
- Practice “go to your place” for a few reps to create some behavioral momentum. If you haven’t taught this yet, start close to their safe space, lure them on the target, mark, reward.
- Either using an audio doorbell sound or your brother (to give him something useful to do) staged outside, sound the doorbell, give the old cue, and wait for behavior to reinforce.
- Once you’ve all done it with at least 80% accuracy, you can try to wait a little longer in between the sound of the doorbell and the old cue to see if he offers the behavior you want to see, in this case, going to his place. This is how you phase out the old cue!
- When you’re finished with your last rep, reward the pup with a long term calming project to transition him to relaxation.
It sounds pretty simple right? It can be! But it also can be less straightforward than you’d expect. If you’re hitting some speed bumps, consider the following:
- Does your body position to his safe space affect his behavior?
- Do you really say “go to your place” or is the cue actually leading him there (doesn’t matter if it is, you’ll just need to start with the cue that he knows)?
- Is there already a strong/over excited/aversive learning history with the doorbell that needs to be addressed before using it in a training exercise?
- Is his safe space a space he actually chooses to go to?
- Is his safe space too far/too close to the door?
…and probably a million more things that could be affecting clean training. Once you get this down, it’s time for proofing the behavior to the impending distractions that come after the “going to placing” (read more about proofing here).
With that being said, I love having the doorbell be a cue to do something that is incompatible with what we don’t want him to do (rush the door) as a practiced tool in our toolbelt. I also love that for the fearful kiddos it could also become a flight cue to his safe space if people coming over makes him uncomfortable.
For Halloween, it’s super helpful to get the pup safely to a place that helps everyone be successful (pro tip: also add a physical barrier because Halloween is a TOUGH night for these kiddos who just don’t understand why Spidermen keep coming to their door making their parents squeal).
Trick or Treat (and treat and treat and treat and treat)!
Now What?
Think about what Halloween (or similar holiday/gathering if this isn’t a practice where you live) looks like in your household. Consider what gaps you’d like to work on before the event happens to help everyone feel prepared. It might mean training, it might mean management, it might mean something else totally different!
Happy Training!
Corinne
The Stigma of Using Treats (AITA?)
Alright y’all, am I the asshole?
I went to see a mobile vet with my newly adopted dog, Eden. He was (and still is) cute, fluffy, and came with a bite record towards people and dogs. Body sensitive, healed injuries to his front legs, and the softest fur I’ve ever touched. It’s a confusing dichotomy.
When Eden and I stepped into the camper-turned-vet-clinic, there was the wonderful veterinarian we had been working with–but also another person I didn’t know. He was present the whole time, and, I learned later, turned out to be the owner of the area where the vet regularly parks. At the time, I had no idea what his purpose there was. Was he shadowing? Or driving the vet? Was he just a really lazy assistant? No clue. Not my focus as long as he didn’t try to interact with Eden.
Eden needed to get vaccines and a check up before being officially adopted. I let him go onto a lifted up platform, and started handing him treats. I wasn’t interested in timing or markers, I was simply handing him treats with regularity. He ate, tentatively. The vet started to go over his back. As she looked him over, the additional person suddenly said, “Stop giving him treats.”
I said “No, thank you,” and kept handing my dog treats.
I wasn’t expecting a comment about it, or what to take from that interjection, or why he thought I cared about his opinion? He said nothing for a while. Eden continued to eat food and eye the veterinarian, but let her do her thing. We went through the exam without any issues and when the vet was done the treats went back in my pocket.
Later, while the vet was getting Eden’s medication refilled and his forms completed, I felt this punch of guilt about my response. Had I been rude? Was this guy trying to help and I just shut him down? Or (more of a hit to my pride) did he think I was inexperienced and didn’t know what I was doing?
So I said hello to the person and launched into explaining my purpose for giving Eden so many treats.
“If he stops eating, I know he’s over threshold and more likely to bite. That’s why I gave him all those treats during a situation like this. If he stops eating we’ll likely need to pause or consider putting a muzzle on.”
The guy shrugged and we made small talk about something related to the camper, since I had zero idea who he was still. The veterinarian gave me Eden’s refills and his paperwork and we left and went home. And then it hit me how absolutely rude the guy’s comment had been to comment about it at all. “At least ask me why,” I said to Eden… and also to my partner when I got home… and also to my mom when I called home… and to my best friend over dinner. It wasn’t bothering me, obviously.
Well??? Who’s the Asshole??
I’ve had clients visibly blanche when they see me dole out treats for exercises. I’d be encouraged to use less food when filming a dog’s progress to seem more… impressive? Even my dad, who genuinely respects and appreciates the work I do, will roll his eyes about using treats with his dog.
When I asked some colleagues and fellow dog people if they’ve felt stigma about using food, the results were mixed. But when people did experience some stigma that was direct, it often sounded like this:
“Am I going to run to get food every time I need him to do something?” “When do I stop using treats?” “How long do I have to train with food?” “Yeah but what happens when I don’t have a treat on my person?” “It feels like bribery.”
Positive Reinforcement is…? Cookies?
“Am I going to run to get food every time I need him to do something?”
Okay let’s clear up one concept first.
Reinforcement is not just food. Reinforcement is any consequence that increases, or strengthens, the behavior it follows. Dog trainers talk a lot about food when we teach skills like introducing a marker/clicker. It’s a fair assumption that most dogs will work for food. It’s also a fair assumption that most people will work for food**.
But! Training with food sometimes is not reinforcing. Why? Cause we don’t get to decide what is reinforcing for the learner (dog/person/rat/etc). We’re going to back track to my elementary school days for a minute and take advantage of the fact that I have a twin brother for our examples:
- For dinner, my mom made my twin and I buttered noodles; my twin loved it and I would rather eat almost anything else. My dad made my twin and I spicy stir fry; I was in heaven, but my twin picked out the single vegetable he liked. He wouldn’t eat anything else until offered the leftover butter noodles. The goal was for the kids to finish their meals and put some kind of nutrient in our bodies, so technically both goals were accomplished.
- Getting home from school, I sat down with my mother and spilled the tea. She knew more about the dynamics of an elementary school playground than she could ever possibly care about. Getting home from school, my brother went straight to the bedroom and played with legos, or blocks, or video games. The purpose for us as kids was to decompress from learning and the adrenaline-fueled interactions with our peers, and to get into the rhythm of being home. But if you had forcibly switched either of our experiences post-school, there would have been tears and yelling and bad moods all around. Even if you filled either experience with unlimited cookies. So I’ll repeat:
We don’t get to decide what is reinforcing to the learner (dog/person/rat/etc). Whether that is a primary reinforcer like sleep or food, or secondary reinforcers like access to the environment, access to sniffing spots, the clicker (or whatever marker you’re using), or the sound of a crinkly plastic bag.
**We spend roughly 12.8% of our money on food in 2022, and that’s only beaten out by transportation to get our food and housing to store our food. We work for food too, dude.
Okay, but Specifically the Food Part?
“It feels like bribery.” What is bribery!? Bribery is defined as attempting to make someone do something for you by giving them money, presents, or something else they want, usually somewhat dishonest or illegal. (Thanks Cambridge Dictionary).
Last I checked, asking for a ‘sit’ isn’t horribly nefarious?
There are plenty of dogs that can’t do skills without the treat being present, especially in the pet world, but that may mean less about the use of the treat and a little more about the training skills of the person using it. Using food to help create a clear 1:1 can be a handy communication tool between us and our dog. Recognizing the plentitude of rewards in our environment can help people feel less ‘bribery-y’ and also flex those observation practices!
For example, training a recall can be challenging, but is a great example of what reinforcers can look like.
My go-to recall training technique starts with creating enthusiasm and excitement for the key word (“Here!”, “Come”, etc). A really popular way to do this is having a super high value reward in your hands, and also to add motion to our recall word by running away and having a little chase game. But! Let’s consider our environment and what happens after the recall is done to add more enthusiasm!
Let’s use my dog Ghost as an example. When in the backyard, I love practicing recall. But, I don’t recall Ghost to go inside! She loves to be outside, especially in the woods. Sniffing, exploring, chasing, all the best things are outside! So when we practice recall, after she comes to me, she may get some cookies but the better reinforcer, from what I can observe, is that she gets to stay outside.
Now let’s use my dog Eden as an example. I love him dearly, but he is what we call an inside dog. Too hot, too cold, too hard, too soft; let’s just say, the couch by the AC is his favorite place to be on any given day. When we’re in the backyard, and I practice recall… That’s right, we’re going inside!
The food hangs out as a happy in-between, especially if I ever am wrong in my assumption of what will be rewarding for my dogs. Did I accidentally call Eden away from a very exciting bug mystery? Did Ghost have a hurt paw and walking up the stairs into the house started to hurt without me noticing for a little bit? The food is a happy in-between if I can set it up–but in the same way that I really enjoy writing, but the paycheck is an added bonus to make sure I complete it efficiently.
Responding in Our Community and IRL
While this is a conversation on food specifically, this section is structured towards any level of unsolicited advice!
Unsolicited advice and conjecture always comes as a bit of a surprise to me. Sometimes it happens in the wide world, or the vet office, or even what was originally thought to be a learning environment. Taking classes and courses, working around colleagues or other dog lovers, means opening up the way you train directly to a bunch of eyes that may have thoughts about what you are doing.
Whatever the comment, keep in mind your goal and what you’re looking for. I’ve felt pressured to adjust my goals based on other’s comments, or other’s eyes, expectations, judgements, etc. Unless you have expressly asked for help or opinions, no one has the right to assume you were looking for advice just for being in public. This goes for using food, or any other aspect of training!
When it comes to dealing with people who don’t agree or have their opinions coming in, how can we respond? How do we make space to learn and not also fall into the same problem that person has; judging what someone else is doing without understanding why? Well, in short, you don’t need to.
Here are some responses when you’re not looking for further conversation on the matter:
- That’s not what I’m working on right now.
- I don’t feel the need to do that with my dog right now.
- No, thank you.
Let’s say this is an environment that we are discussing or able to discuss longer. Or it’s a coworker, or a friend:
- I can explain my process later but right now I would like to focus on what I’m doing.
- If you want to demonstrate what you’re describing, you can with your dog. But I want to finish working with my dog first.
- I don’t think we have similar goals in mind.
The Importance of Community While Learning
Training with treats can sometimes come across as aligning with a certain ideology in the training field when, really, it is not as divisive as many people imagine.
Consider how you would like to hear critique and who might be the most beneficial person to deliver it to you. Even though in my example I knew why I was rewarding Eden with food, there were plenty of times in my life I didn’t know! Asking questions and wondering if you were doing the right or wrong thing is an inherent part of this training journey. It wouldn’t hit so hard if we didn’t believe it a little when we heard it, especially as young trainers!
But finding others in our community to work through the learning pains can help us navigate the experience when comments or critiques negatively affect us. Finding a community of people who are willing to give and receive constructive feedback can help us feel safe enough to assess why we are using food or whether we’re applying training techniques in a productive manner. I would hope this article encourages people to cultivate supportive communities where they can ask more questions instead of limiting their learning to only their perception. And build the skills to recognize when comments like, “How long will I need to use food?,” have pretty simple resolutions when we’re looking through an enrichment and welfare lens.
Why didn’t I include saying, “Shut up,” as a response? Not because it isn’t a valid response (it can be). But because my goal with this article is to talk about how we can guard ourselves from stigma while also improving our relationship with the person offering the criticism when possible. That being said… Some people will not be interested in the reason behind your actions. Some people will not be open to conversation. Some people will not be in your life long enough to deserve your level of introspection, growth mindset, or concern.
And if that is the case, the ethical and kind response to their request that you “stop giving your dog treats” can be a plain and simple:
“No.”
Now What?
Write out responses and ways to handle situations, before you have to encounter them out in the wild. I have below the responses I had listed earlier in the article for easy reference and so that you can start to build your own list!
- That’s not what I’m working on right now.
- I don’t feel the need to do that with my dog right now.
- No, thank you.
- I can explain my process later but right now I would like to focus on what I’m doing.
- If you want to demonstrate what you’re describing, you can with your dog. But I want to finish working with my dog first.
- I don’t think we have similar goals in mind.
Consider practicing saying all of these out loud! May sound silly but practice makes perfect, and could also help you move through conflict a little easier if you feel confident in what you’re saying.
Happy training!
Taylor
Agency: What It Is & Why Your Pet Needs It
A few weeks ago there was a discussion in our Enrichment for Pet Behavior Issues Community Facebook group where I realized that I’ve never actually written a post about agency itself. Sure, I’ve included this topic in other posts but I’ve never devoted an entire post to this topic alone. It’s about time that changed! So this week is solely devoted to a topic that I don’t think gets near enough attention in the pet community: agency.
What is agency?
Agency is the ability to have some level of control in our environment and be able to make choices that will result in a desirable outcome. One of the important factors here is that agency requires at least two desirable choices. A “cake or death” decision a la Eddie Izzard doesn’t fly.
A pet example of a choice that fits the criteria would be the choice to sleep on comfy bed A or on comfy bed B. An example of a choice that doesn’t fit the criteria would be come when I call or get shocked. Make no mistake, though, it’s entirely possible to use food coercively as well. Such as, you can have delicious treats but only if you approach a person you find scary. Those examples don’t have at least two great choices to choose from.
Why agency is important
There are so many reasons why agency is important that it would take me an entire book chapter to explain them all 😉 The short answer is it’s helpful in:
- Combating learned helplessness
- Creating resilience
- Improving behavioral health
- Improving quality of life (I don’t have research to back this bullet point up since “quality of life” is pretty subjective, but I think it’s safe to say that this is likely true from an anecdotal capacity and if we look at all the other things agency does for an individual.)
On a more practical note, having agency can be huge when it comes to how an individual reacts in certain situations. Here’s the example I use with my clients to illustrate this point:
Say that you’re at an educational wildlife event. The presenter is holding a snake. You hang out at the back of the room, fearful to move closer. The presenter continues talking about the snake they’re holding and offers for anyone to touch the snake who would like to do so. By the end of the presentation you’ve made your way to the front of the room and touch the snake. This was not a scary experience because you had full control over whether or not you put your hand on the snake.
Now, let’s say you’re having a picnic. You’re sitting and chatting with your friends when you put your hand down– right on top of a snake. Chances are you’re not okay with this scenario, even though it’s the exact same behavior– hand on snake– as above. You may scream, run away, or perform some other fight or flight behavior. The difference between these scenarios is that you didn’t have the choice to touch the snake in the picnic but did in the presentation.
We seem to see this with our pets, too. I often see reactive dogs who are far less reactive when they’re able to move away from the scary thing than when they’re made to sit there and watch it. Or dogs with separation anxiety who display fewer stress-related behaviors or less intense stress-related behaviors when they’re given more space to move about in the house (though, confinement anxiety is also a thing). While we can’t necessarily ask our pets in these situations if it’s agency that’s truly causing the change in behavior, we see it consistently enough that it’s a valid hypothesis.
How can I provide more choices in my pet’s life?
There are so many ways to do this and we have a lot of examples in our book, Canine Enrichment for the Real World. Here are some easy options:
- Multiple sleeping areas to choose from
- Being able to choose where they go and what they sniff on a walk
- Food preference tests
- Toy preference tests
Here are couple that are more involved but also allow for even more agency in situations where it really counts:
- Cooperative care & start button behaviors for medical and grooming procedures
- Being able to choose whether or not they move closer to a stressor– without luring with food
But… what if they make poor choices?
Agency doesn’t mean that your pet has full authority to do whatever they want. If you have a pet who bites people coming into the house they still need to be managed to ensure they don’t bite people coming into the house. We should not diminish safety to increase choice.
Agency means providing choices that don’t compromise safety, physical health, mental or behavioral health, or enable them to practice unwanted behaviors. That sometimes means that our pets may not have multiple choices in a situation. When that happens we can acknowledge that and work on training a skill that allows our pet to have choices in future similar situations. For example, a dog who doesn’t have a rock solid recall (come when called) shouldn’t be off-leash even though being off-leash allows for more agency. Instead of resigning to that, we can work on training a rock solid recall for future use.
Now what?
- Assess the choices your pet currently has. Don’t be critical or hard on yourself; we’re simply assessing to see where we have room for improvement.
- In those areas where you find your pet doesn’t have agency, ask yourself why that is. Is it to mitigate safety concerns? Is it to mitigate unwanted behaviors? Or, are there situations where you’re not quite sure or because it’s what someone once recommended or you think it’s what you should be doing? Keep probing until you find those answers.
- If you’re newer to agency and thinking about your pet’s choices, choose one of those easier situations to increase your pet’s desirable choices.
- If this is something that you’ve been working on or thinking about for a while, you may want to consider one of the more involved options. Cooperative care is a great place to start for almost everyone.
- If you’re interested in learning more about agency and how to incorporate it into your pet’s life, check out our book Canine Enrichment for the Real World and be sure to join us in our Facebook group.
Happy training!
Allie
December 2020 Training Challenge: Holiday Safety
It’s time for our last training challenge of 2020! Keeping with our holiday and enrichment theme from last month, this month’s training challenge is inspired by the “Safety” chapter of our book, Canine Enrichment for the Real World.
Create a holiday safety enrichment plan
Holidays often bring about a lot of décor changes within our homes and some of those changes are safer than others. Plants like poinsettias and mistletoe are toxic to our furry family members (and us). Candles and wagging tails present fire hazards. Extra candies around the house make for prime counter surfing targets.
Then there are those holiday decorations that aren’t necessarily dangerous in and of themselves, but that we still need to include in holiday safety plans, like Christmas trees. Or things like decorations with sentimental value that need to be protected from our pets rather than the other way around. And that’s just the decorations!
Here are 7 tips to creating your holiday safety enrichment plan:
- Manage during meals. Just like we talked about last month with Thanksgiving, sometimes management during family meals is the easiest solution. Set up the environment to keep your pet out of the kitchen or in another room entirely during holiday meal prep and eating if need be.
- Manage stranger danger issues. Holiday parties are not a great time to work on your pet’s stranger danger issues. This is probably not as much of a problem with this year’s holidays, but something to keep in mind for the future. Put your pet completely away so that you don’t have to worry about anyone’s safety while you’re celebrating. They’ll be happy to be away from the festivities, too.
- Keep ornaments, lights, and tinsel off the bottom branches of your tree. All can pose as hazards, whether ingested, tangled up in, or knocked off by your pet.
- Keep candles out of reach. This is easier said than done for those of you with cats in your home.
- Keep hazardous gifts out of reach. Make a note of any gifts (especially food items) that are hazardous for your pet to get into and ask anyone else sending gifts if their presents should be kept out of reach too.
- Watch the wires. Make sure that wires are well-hidden from pets who are prone to chewing.
- Exercise pens are a Christmas tree’s best friend. Do you have a dog who’s a little too interested in your tree? Put a free-standing baby gate or exercise pen around your tree. Here’s the link to our Amazon storefront where you can find the exercise pen that we like (also pictured below). Disclosure: This is an affiliate link. We receive a small commission for purchases made through these links at no extra cost to you. This helps us continue to put out free content to help you and your pets live more harmoniously!
There are, of course, many other things that you may want to include in your holiday safety enrichment plan and each person’s plan is going to look different depending on how they celebrate during this time of year. We’d love to hear what’s included in your plan!
Now what?
- Decide how you’d like to create your holiday safety enrichment plan. Does it make sense to create it as you decorate? Are there parts you need to plan for before you start?
- Gather any management tools you need. Pick up baby gates, exercise pens, and the like before you need them.
- Discuss your pet’s holiday safety enrichment plan with your entire household and anyone else who is visiting your house. Make sure that everyone is on the same page to limit slip-ups.
- Be prepared to tweak your pet’s plan based on how it’s going. The best plans are dynamic.
- Share your plan with us on Facebook and Instagram @petharmonytraining
Happy training & happy holidays!
Allie
Pet Behavior During & After the Pandemic
It’s been hard to write this post. Heck, I’ll admit that I didn’t want to and wasn’t planning to, but have gotten requests from some of you and feel a sense of obligation to our readers and clients who are searching for information. We try to be a pretty upbeat, positive company but the reality is that we’re scared, too. We’re not sure of all the effects that this pandemic will have in the years to come. And it’s hard for all of us, ourselves included, to be at our best when we’re struggling to make sure that our most basic needs are being met. Often I can use writing and focusing on other projects as a way to step out of reality, even just for a moment. And, because of that, I often avoid writing about things that are still quite fresh and heavy on my heart: like this post. The one that I knew I would eventually have to write. The one that I know that you guys are looking for.
I suppose this is all to say that this article isn’t meant to be a comprehensive guide to your pet’s behavior during the COVID-19 pandemic. We, like you, are still learning what the ramifications are and how this impacts animal behavior. There are things we may be wrong about. There may be experts who disagree with something here. There are things that we may say later that contradict something written today. That’s okay. Part of the beauty of a learning journey is being vulnerable and honest throughout, and admitting when we’ve learned something that is different to what we used to think. And, I’ll be frank in saying that this will be one of the more candid posts you read from me (as you can already surmise). It’s just plain hard for me to be eloquent and concise at the moment. But, I’m allowing myself some grace in the name of helping pets, and I hope you can do the same. So, without further ado and with no more disclaimers, I bring you Pet Harmony’s take on pet behavior during the 2020 pandemic. Buckle up; it’s a long one.
What we’ve been seeing
Emily and I joke that behavior challenges come in waves. Sometimes it makes sense as to why that happens, like when we suddenly get a burst of leash reactivity cases every spring. Or why we sometimes see a surge of stranger danger cases right after Thanksgiving leading into Christmas. But other times there doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason. Just a few months ago it seemed like the only new cases I was getting were dog and kid cases; but I digress. This pandemic has brought forth a few behavior challenges that we’re getting many requests for, including:
- Reactivity (on leash and behind a barrier)
- Intraspecies aggression with housemates
- General anxiety (especially regressions)
These make a whole lot of sense and, you’ll notice, that these are all anxiety-related behaviors. So why would we expect to see an increase in anxiety-related behaviors right now? A few reasons:
- Change in routine. Individuals with anxiety do quite well with routines; they can help to lessen stress. It’s quite common to see individuals who experience anxiety normally to have regressions in their otherwise improved coping skills when their routine is disrupted. Like, say, when their humans are now home 24/7 and schedules are complete anarchy.
- Less nap time. I have spoken with a number of clients, and my husband, about how pets who don’t get enough sleep can wind up like cranky toddlers, thus increasing agitation, reactivity, and anxiety. Oso had a hard time the first couple of weeks that we were home and I realized it was because he wasn’t napping as much throughout the day (us pesky humans wanting to cuddle him got in the way of that).
- More togetherness. This is along the same vein as routine changes and less nap time. I’m seeing an increase in clients asking for help with their pets suddenly not getting along in the house. Oftentimes, when I learn what their routine was before and after shelter-in-place procedures, I find that the animals are spending a lot more time together than they once did. We all need breaks from our housemates no matter how much we love them; especially when we’re with them 24/7. Many people are acutely feeling that fact right now.
- Everyone and their dog, quite literally, is outside walking. I get it; I also try to get out and walk daily. But for pets who already have reactivity or anxiety from people passing by their house, yard, or while they’re on leash are now experiencing a lot more triggers than normal. And, not only are there more triggers, they’re far less predictable than they used to be. We used to know when the quieter walking times and areas were and people with reactive pets could gauge when and where it was better to walk to avoid stressors. It’s far harder than it used to be to do that.
- Some household triggers are increasing. If triggers outside increasing weren’t enough, there are plenty of pets out there whose fears are coming from inside the house. This can include things like noises, household members moving around or doing certain activities, and, for some of those newly adopted pets, fear of their new humans altogether. More triggers means more stress and more stress often manifests itself in anxiety-related behaviors.
- Our stress adds to their stress. You’ve probably heard this adage before, that when we are stressed our pets become more stressed, too. It can be true! Dogs can even smell our stress hormones so it’s very hard to fake it with them. We’re all stressed right now. That can further lend itself to our pet’s new or exaggerated behaviors.
What we expect to see
We’ve now been in this long enough that it appears the above are primarily where people are currently feeling friction. But what happens when the world resumes to some semblance of normality? There are two concerns that I’ve seen over and again: separation anxiety and puppy development. Let’s briefly explore both.
Separation anxiety
I’ll confess, I have a pet peeve (well, more than one but this one is relevant to the topic). I’ve seen a lot of articles talking about “Preventing Separation Anxiety” and it frankly gets under my skin. Separation-related disorders are complex and there are several factors that are involved, including genetics and other contributing factors we have no control over. Prevention is not guaranteed and we shouldn’t be talking about it as if it is. Additionally, development of a separation-related problem is also not guaranteed and we shouldn’t be talking about that as if it is, either. We need to strike a balance.
Experts in the field all seem to be speaking right now about their fear of a rise in separation-related disorders when people start leaving for work again. I’d be remiss if I didn’t pay attention to what they’re saying. It’s wholly possible that we will see many more separation-related cases in the future. There is certainly anecdotal evidence of pets having separation-related disorders crop up after their humans start a new job and their hours change.That will happen to some pets soon, unfortunately.
That said, it’s still a complex issue and there are many, many factors involved, some of which scientists are just scratching the surface of (like epigenetics). I expect to see an uptick in these cases in the future, but I’m not concerned about every single pet out there. I am, certainly, concerned about pets who’ve shown inklings toward this in the past and those with general anxiety. If that’s your pet, let’s do something now to address it. If that’s not your pet, let’s keep it in the back of our minds but focus on other things.
Puppy Development
Hoo boy there are a lot of new puppies out there! In addition to the wave of cases I’m currently seeing above, I’ve also gotten more requests for puppy sessions than I have in the past several months combined (to be fair, I don’t often get many puppy requests since aggression, reactivity, and anxiety are my passion, but still). The question that’s on everyone’s mind is: how will these puppies who are experiencing their critical socialization period during shelter-in-place behave when they’re older? I’m curious to know the answer, too.
Puppies’ critical socialization period is from about 3-5 to 12-14 weeks. During this time they’re like sponges absorbing information about the world around them: the good, the bad, the familiar, and the dangerous. Learning continues throughout their entire lives, but the socialization window is over far before they reach mental maturity. So what will happen when we are limiting our own exposure to the world, and consequently theirs?
Honestly, I’m not quite sure. I can see it going a lot of different ways. An interesting thing about the critical socialization period is that it’s actually composed of two parts: one where they’re learning how to be a member of their species and the other where they’re learning about the rest of the world. While there’s a huge emphasis on socialization with other dogs in American culture, the truth is that by the time puppies enter our households at 8 weeks old they’re ending the period where they’re learning how to dog and entering the period where they’re learning how to live in a human world. The puppy should’ve already been meeting other dogs before they came to us (within the safety protocols for their health). So is it necessary for puppies to practice their social skills with other dogs after that first half of the socialization period? Absolutely. Is it necessary for them to learn how to keep their cool when seeing other dogs out in the world? Absolutely. Is it necessary for them to interact with a bunch of other dogs while they’re learning how to be in our world? Probably not. But we’ll certainly learn more as these pandemic puppies grow up.
The reason that I’m skeptical as to the claims that this will be terrible for puppy development is two-fold. One: people have more opportunities to interact with their puppies, to build relationships with them, to teach them how to interact with our human world, and to build their confidence and resiliency when they’re home all day with their puppies. Two: most other countries put far less emphasis on dog-dog interactions than the United States does, and they also have lower incidences of reactivity. When we put more of an emphasis on relationships with humans than other dogs, we see a difference in behavior. Maybe this won’t be the worst thing from the lens of dog-dog socialization.
Where I am more concerned is with these dogs having a harder time when folks go back to working in offices and when meeting other people. Specifically, I’m concerned that these puppies won’t learn how to cope with being alone, learn how to entertain themselves, and be properly socialized with people of all sorts of shapes, sizes, ages, genders, and ethnicities. The first is taught early on in day to day life and the latter often happens in puppy classes without the owners realizing it. New puppy owners will need to be more cognizant of working on these things; they are still quite possible to do even with social distancing. We’ll get into that in the next section.
What to work on now
Alright. We’ve spoken about what’s currently happening and what may happen in the future. Let’s talk about what we can do right now for our pets.
- Develop a new routine, including nap time and decompression time from housemates.
- Get window film. Seriously. If I had a dollar for every time a client thanked me for suggesting window film for their reactive pet I would be rich. It’s hard to yell at things out the window when you can’t see them (though, noises are still fair game). [P.S. That’s an affiliate link. We receive a small commission for purchases made through these links at no extra cost to you. This helps us continue to put out free content to help you and your pets live more harmoniously!]
- Tweak your management plan to accommodate new or increasing triggers. What used to work might not work right now and that’s okay. Avoid triggers for now and your behavior consultant can help you modify the behavior later.
- Build calming activities into your day. Things like calming music or background noises, aromatherapy, and massage are often calming to members of all species (but not all individuals!)
- If you haven’t already been dealing with separation-related behaviors, leave your house. Go for a walk without your dog; it will be just as beneficial in the long-run as going on a walk with him. Give him a stuffed Kong, food puzzle, or chewy when you leave so he gets to party while you’re away.
- If you have already seen separation-related behaviors, start (or continue) working with a consultant now. I would also be rich if I had a dollar for every time someone told me, “I tried to do a bunch of suggestions that I found or heard and wish I’d started with a professional sooner.” Gimmicks are just that. They don’t work for every individual. Honest to goodness behavior modification done at a pace that doesn’t elicit anxiety will yield results far more efficiently and effectively than trying a bunch of gimmicks to see if they work. Now is the perfect time to work on separation anxiety with the help of your consultant.
- Work on puppy socialization at home. I love Dr. Yin’s puppy checklist found here. Other great resources include those from Puppy Culture and Puppy Start Right. There are a whole heck of a lot of ways to build confidence and resilience in your puppy right from home.
- Take your puppy out and about and teach them humans and dogs are great at a distance. Your puppy doesn’t need to meet someone to know that they’re alright! Simple things like playing, basic training, and treats falling from the sky can tell your puppy that great stuff happens with you when all those other people and dogs are around. You become more fun and others become less scary. Win-win!
- Focus on enrichment as a way to meet all of your pet’s needs. Building a solid enrichment plan can help with all of the above and more. We can help with this; more info below.
Now what?
- Just as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I’m giving myself some grace to not be at my best right now. I invite you to do the same. Focus on just one thing that you can do right now. When that feels manageable, add another if it makes sense to do so.
- When in doubt, increase management. We can modify behavior later. Right now just focus on the behavior not getting worse.
- Reach out to a behavior consultant if you need help developing a management plan and/or if you have the wherewithal to start on a behavior modification plan. Remote sessions are just as effective as in-person sessions with a seasoned consultant!
- Register for our FREE enrichment workshop: 5 Days to a More Effective Enrichment Strategy. We’ll give you tools to create a more effective plan efficiently and without breaking the bank. Register here: https://petharmonytraining.com/freeenrichmentworkshop
Happy training,
Allie
Conversations with My Dog
A lot of people talk to their pets. I’m one of them. I ask Oso questions he’ll never be able to answer, I sing him songs that he doesn’t understand, and I occasionally throw in something that he does know like, “Do you want to go outside?” Humans are talkative beings. Sorry, Oso. But what if I told you that Oso can hold his own in some of our conversations? I sound crazy, right? Let me explain.
This may just look like a super cute picture of Oso, but it’s actually the beginning of a conversation. Here’s what he’s saying:
Oso: *puts head on couch* I’d like to come up on the couch.
Me: Okay, come up then.
At this point, one of two scenarios play out:
Scenario 1:
Oso: *comes up on couch and snuggles* Hooray snuggle time!
Scenario 2:
Oso: *looks at me without moving his head* There’s stuff in my way.
Me: Is something in your way? You’re ridiculous. *Continues chattering while clearing space for him on the couch* Come up then.
Oso: *looks at me without moving his head* There’s still not enough room.
Me: *Sigh* You’re the worst. *Moves my legs to give him even more space*
Oso: *comes up on couch, sprawls out, and falls asleep*
Now, I’ve clearly anthropomorphized some of this. I don’t *really* know his side of the story. But, what I do know is that we very consistently have this interaction. We have both learned this way of communication from one another. His head-on-couch behavior prompts me to create space for him and he comes up after I do so. He continues to put his head on the couch because he gets the space he’s looking for and I get snuggles so I continue giving him space. It may look unconventional but it definitely qualifies as a conversation. Communication is so much more than talking.
Expanding the picture
Oso learned how to use a “head down” behavior as a conversation starter not through this couch behavior, but during our training sessions. We often start our training sessions with his nail file board. However, after he scratched for a varied length of time, he consistently would become disinterested in continuing. In the beginning I took that to mean that he wasn’t interested in continuing our training session in general and would move on to my own thing. He would continue putzing around the room, though, as if to say that he wasn’t done with the interaction. Maybe I had gotten it wrong?
Around this same time, I was teaching him a “head down” behavior as a new trick. While I don’t remember the actual interaction, my assumption is that during a training session he decided to do a “head down” behavior instead of continuing to use his nail file board and I started reinforcing him for that. We continued the session but switched to a new activity. It only took a few of these interactions for us to finally be on the same wavelength (humans are slow, aren’t we?): he wanted to continue training but didn’t want to do his nail file board anymore.
The “head down” behavior took off after we learned how to communicate together in this way. He started doing it during training sessions any time that he wanted to switch to a new activity. I learned that he likes switching up what we’re working on far more than I was doing previously. He started doing it whenever he got frustrated because I wasn’t clear in what I wanted. He started doing it to ask to get up on the bed or when he wanted me to create space for him on the couch. He started doing it to ask for most things that he wanted (the only different one is when he wants to go outside). He learned that that behavior works for getting him things he wants.
The Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) term for this type of behavior is called, “manding”. Essentially, it means requesting something that you want. Oso learned “head down” as a manding behavior because I treated the behavior as a form of communication instead of a random or coincidental occurrence. Not only is his “head down” behavior cute and unobtrusive, it is so much less annoying than many of the behaviors he could have chosen: barking, pawing, nudging my hand.
Here’s my challenge for you: start treating your pet’s behavior as a form of communication instead of a random occurrence. Look around and assess the situation. What could they potentially be saying to you? What has your pet “gotten” for doing this behavior in the past (attention, petting, treats, play time starts, etc.)?
What conversations will you have with your pet?
Now what?
- Observe your pet’s behavior free from judgment. Take away the morals– good behavior and bad behavior– and simply watch. Is there something that they do fairly regularly?
- After observing their behavior, start noticing the situation around that behavior. What happened before? What happens after? Again, this step should be free from judgment.
- Are there conversations that you and your pet already have? Your observations may uncover some form of communication that you weren’t cognizant of!
- Is there a way that you’d like your pet to communicate with you? One of the easiest ways is to choose a behavior that your pet is already performing and reinforcing it. You can also choose to teach a new behavior and use that instead!
- Start training! I chose to reinforce Oso’s manding behavior not with food, but with “real life” reinforcers like access to furniture and fun training exercises.
- Post pics and videos of the conversations you have with your pet on our Facebook page! We’d love to see them.
Happy training!
Allie
Winter Oso
If you’ve followed Pet Harmony for probably any length of time you’ve heard me talk about the four-legged love of my life, Oso.
But let me introduce you to my four-legged nemesis: Winter Oso.
I first met Winter Oso in the winter of 2018. I wish I could blame it on the polar vortex but he arrived prior to that. Winter Oso is squirrely. He cruises around in the evenings looking for mischief and driving us crazy. He destroys his bed. He decides to bark at the birds on the feeder for the first time ever. He gets into things he’s left alone for years. He’s such a nuisance that my husband and I actually, truly call him “Winter Oso” when he’s like that. And the worst part? Winter Oso is our fault.
Oso generally gets a lot of enrichment: playtime in the yard, training sessions, daily food puzzles, regular scent work, lots of toys, chews, and destructible items, and lots of snuggle time. He’s 7 years old and pretty happy to lounge on the couch with us in the evenings. This enrichment routine was enough to keep him calm and even keel for a year and a half after we adopted him.
It Was Enough...Until It Wasn't
When Winter Oso arrived, I went through the same thing that a lot of my clients go through: But I do so much for my pet. Are you saying that it’s not enough?
I was in denial that Winter Oso was a product of me not meeting his needs. “I do all this stuff for him! It should be enough!” While I thought that I was doing enough, Winter Oso was clearly telling me through his behavior that his needs weren’t being met. If I were meeting his needs better, he would be acting like his normal self instead of this new, squirrely beast.
It took a couple weeks of being annoyed and angry with him (hello, prelearning dip) for me to accept that I had to change course. If this were a client, I would tell them to increase or explore different options for mental and physical exercise. I was letting ideology—what it should be– get in the way of observation—what it actually is.
Solving Winter Oso
Increasing mental and physical exercise is just what we did. We played “find it” with every dinner spanning two floors of the house and getting in a lot of time up and down the stairs. It took 45 minutes. Every. Night. But it worked. Winter Oso was held at bay as long as we did this exercise.
We’ve now reached the one-year anniversary of meeting our four-legged nemesis. But this year, we were prepared. Winter Oso arrived during that cold spell we had in October: early but recognizable nonetheless. He started being more active in the evenings. He started destroying his bed: something we only saw during winter of last year.
We knew what to do, but… we moved into a new house this spring and no longer have the option of the exact same exercise that I was doing before (no stairs). That meant that I had to figure out exactly what was different about his enrichment schedule now vs. in warmer months and what the previous dinner exercise was actually doing to meet his needs.
We tried “find it” in the yard with his entire dinner a few days in a row. It took a little of the edge off but he was still squirrely. That meant it wasn’t a mental exercise problem. Aha! It was specifically going up and down the stairs during that dinner exercise that improved his behavior. He needed more physical exercise. But, why then, did we not need to worry about his physical exercise needs in the warmer months but did in the winter even if he spent the same amount of time in the yard on a warmer winter day?
It took me a few days to figure it out, but I realized two components that were different about his summer and winter yard times. 1) He’s more active in general when we’re outside too and we’re outside with him quite a bit when it’s warm out but not when it’s cold. 2) The reason we can get away with yard time as his primary form of physical exercise (besides age) is the wildlife.
Oso is a hunter and a threat to all things cute and fuzzy. He chases the squirrels, digs for voles, and gives birds a run for their money. We don’t mind it as long as he’s not incessantly barking; he’s a dog after all and it’s all normal dog behavior. In short, he gets a ton of exercise by just being a dog hunting for critters. In the winter, there are far fewer critters for him to antagonize and that means we need to step up our game and be the ones to provide him with his physical exercise needs.
We now play together in the yard almost every day for at least 5-10 minutes. We’ve invented a yard game that has him running for a large part of that time and that often does the trick. If he still needs more exercise a hardcore tug session with him and the husband will take care of the rest of his energy. The best part of this new routine is that its far more sustainable than our previous exercise. Winter Oso is no more and I have the four-legged love of my life back.
Here’s to harmony,
Allie
Now What?
Are there times where your pet is squirrely and you wished they’d just calm down? That is often a result of not meeting all their needs, like with Winter Oso. Take a step back and truly evaluate your pet’s behavior. Don’t let what you think it should be cloud your view of what it really is. For example:
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- If your pet is like Oso in that their behavior changes with the seasons, evaluate what is different. It might be something that’s not as easy to notice, like a change in critter density!
- If your pet has undesirable behaviors regularly, evaluate what the function of their behavior is. What do they get out of doing it? What needs are the undesirable behaviors meeting?
Start experimenting with different activities and track the outcome. Here are some ideas:
- Play with duration, time of day, and type of activity. It’s not necessarily about adding “more.” Often, it’s just about “different.” For example, instead of a 10-minute walk try a 10-minute flirt pole session if your pet needs more physical exercise.
- Keep track of what works and doesn’t work to address your pet’s behavior. That way the next time you see the change in behavior start you know exactly what to do and when!
Check out our book Canine Enrichment for the Real World for ideas and information on meeting your pet’s needs. Do you recognize that you have a Winter Oso on your hands but want professional help with addressing it? We got you.
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