Lately I’ve been thinking alot about something I heard when I first started walking dogs at a local rescue when I lived in New York. The guy who ran the rescue was a man of few words, so when I saw him giving an orientation, I hovered in the back, curious. After going through the rules, he told the group in a very matter-of-fact way that they were probably going to see some things and how it was important to not get caught up in it. I wasn’t sure where this was going but before I could guess, he briefly described a dog that was a victim of terrible cruelty. His tone, which had been neutral and even a little flat, shifted to mild exasperation when recounting the volunteers who he saw cradling and crying over the dog. Speaking to those past volunteers, he said, “put that dog down. How is he going to learn to walk if you keep picking him up?” He continued, “Crying over the dog is not helping the dog. We gotta move the dog forward, ok? Move the dog forward.”
I kind of think of this as the start of my education in dog training.
To state the obvious, we can’t change what’s already happened. I studied a somatic (body movement) practice called The Feldenkrais Method, and I often think of one of the ways the founder, Moshe Feldenkrais, described health. It isn’t being without disease, and it isn’t a static state to be maintained. Rather, he thought of health as the ability to recover from shock, internal or external. I think that Thomas was talking about the same idea. The cruelty, the ignorance, the neglect, the accident, the management fail–it’s already happened. A common phrase in Feldenkrais classes is “successive approximations.” In other words, small steps. You’re not going to fix everything all at once. Move the dog forward.
Now please understand–I’m not in any way saying that one shouldn’t have an emotional response or that having an emotional response is wrong when we observe or have unwittingly been a part of some hardship that a pet experiences. Of course there’s going to be an emotional response to seeing a pet in pain, or scared, or stressed. But as much as possible, we can’t get stuck in it.
A personal example: My dog Tammy had ACL surgery in February and just tore her other ACL. Did I have a large emotional response to this? Sure did. Did I blame myself for the tear even though my vet told me it was probably going to happen? You bet. Did I think “I can’t do this again”? Many times. There have been a lot of other events in my personal life that made this latest development just seem impossible, so I very quickly started to spiral. Finally, I thought “move the dog forward.”
I called to schedule the surgery and was able to get Tammy in early through a last-minute cancellation. My partner and I dragged the futon mattress (her “recovery mattress”) back into the living room, and Tammy immediately settled on it, so we all piled around her for a snuggle. I went to Costco for bully sticks and they were on sale. I couldn’t fix Tammy’s torn ACL but I could move her forward. And all the things that we were doing to help Tammy recover were helping me recover too.
I think of this idea when talking with private clients who feel horribly for having worked with the trainer who insisted on using aversives, or who accidentally left a baby gate unlatched, or who left a batch of chocolate cookies cooling on the counter. I think of this when I’m working at the shelter, and I try to remember it with my own dogs. Bad things happen. Setbacks are a thing. Plateaus are common. Sometimes taking that first step to addressing the harm, the hurt, the stress, or the intractability sucks because it often makes it more real and it often involves other people. But I promise you, the sooner that next step is taken, the sooner you and your pet will start to recover.
I’ve been fortunate to study with many amazing teachers over the years and have a plethora of sayings and quotes that I reach for. But the one I say on almost a daily basis comes from a guy in New York running a rescue with a shoestring budget out of an old shop with no formal education in training. Move the dog forward. It will move you forward too.
Now What?
Pick one very small thing that can move your dog forward and try it out this week. If you’re having some icky feelings about it, we are here to help!
Happy Training!
Lesley Gurule, CPDT-KSA