We’re sharing and concocting plans for visiting family and friends, we’re figuring out what gifts we still need to gather and for whom (or where we hid that perfect gift we found months ago). We’ve got time off requests, PTO, projects and fun things that require planning.

And with all this running around, what about our pets!? Are you traveling with them? Are you having a party at your home? What are we doing with the dogs and the cats? Did you remember to message the cat sitter? Can we bring the dogs to my parents or do we need a pet sitter? 

Holiday time is a big break in pattern and routine for our pets, and it’s hard to explain to them! The best we can do is prepare them for what is coming up, and decide if we can use elements of management and training to make sure we aren’t the only ones enjoying the party, when we get to the party portion after all this planning. 

To best prepare our pets for the upcoming season, I recommend answer some important questions:  

Can I meet my pet’s needs over the holidays? 

Consider physical and mental needs that you have over the holidays! It will affect how much bandwidth you have for your pets. Making my grandma’s christmas soup recipe takes extra focus and two different timers, and several days, so my threshold is likely to be pretty low during those days for meeting my pets’ needs. With the vast amount of butter involved, it will also make some pets a little extra on edge for some stray butter to make it to the floor. All of our thresholds will be low! 

Would a pet sitter or dog walker relieve your stress and meet your pet’s needs? Even if you’re home maybe the additional walk or play time will keep you all ‘below threshold’. For dogs (and cats if they are comfortable) boarding or daycare can be helpful if the facility is open, allowing your pet a break from home and all the party prep. 

Will prepping extra food puzzles/licky mats be the best method for both of our sanities? What activities would keep their focus and interest when there are different activities going on? Can we do some preference testing before parties start so that we know what is the most helpful? 

Have my pet’s needs changed over the last year? 

Are they older? Well, I’d certainly hope so. Keep in mind that aging can affect our dog’s behavior! Puppy/kittenhood to adolescence to adulthood can all result in changing opinions. As an exercise in empathy, consider your likes, dislikes, and behaviors through these own stages! The types of parties I enjoyed as a kid, a teenager, a 20 yr old, and a 30 yr old are all preeeeeetty different flavors. The things your pet liked as a puppy, or that they just tolerated, may have changed since the last holiday party they attended. 

No matter what your pet’s age, consider if there are any subtle signs of pain. Is my pet exhibiting any signs of pain or discomfort, like increased sensitivity to handling or age related joint pain? Are they a little slower when they stand up, or do they avoid sitting down? Are they acting more ‘stubborn’ about performing certain behaviors? 

Recognizing pain in our animals can be challenging! If you’re not sure what to look for check out Emily’s blog on what pain can look like. 

Does traveling affect my pet? Do they need some time to adapt, and will there be enough time to adapt? (This applies to our pets that travel with us, and our pets that stay home.) 

My travel-sensitive dog struggles to relax in the car, so driving to Ohio is six hours of being awake. So, the first couple hours in a new place and around family can be… spicy… if he isn’t given time to recoup. Short trips that only last 24 hours or less are sometimes not worth bringing him! He will spend the time recovering, just in time to get back in the car for a long drive. Usually a bummer, and a lot of stress for me while he’s sore and tired and spicy. 

My sensitive cat sometimes struggles when, all of a sudden, we aren’t around!! And neither are the dogs?! Asking the cat sitter to stop by an extra couple times during the day can help relieve her stress. We talk to our vet and assess her medication in preparation for the upcoming trip too, especially if things like fireworks or loud noises may also be happening. 

How does traveling affect your pets, whether they come with you or stay home? What are ways to reduce their stress? Remember, while we’re talking about our pets’ needs first and foremost, that doesn’t mean your needs are less important. Often by taking care of our pets, we’re able to relax and have a good time too. No one wants to spend a six hour car ride wondering if their dog might snap at a family member, or if they’ll be coming home to cat spray on the coach.  

Does my pet want to come to the party? 

Do I want to bring my dog to every party and let my friends and family meet my favorite creatures on this planet (sorry husband)? Yeah, pretty often! Do I think they’ll enjoy every party and meeting all of my friends and family? NO. Definitely not. 

Consider the crowd and access to enjoyable things for them to do. For the holidays, we often go somewhere with a lot of space and access to a fenced in yard that is the size of our whole apartment and then some (we call it the dog’s Vacation Home). It’s an environment of their favorite people, and endless fetch, and endless bird watching. But if we’re going to a friend’s home that will need heavy management and maintenance, maybe everyone will have a better time if the dogs stay with a sitter. 

If the environment is good to bring the pets or have the pets out and about, then I also want to consider incorporating breaks away from the everyone to have a little routine in place, and some wind down time. This way, they can be at the party without being overwhelmed, especially if we’re on hour six of meal prep the day before. My dog may not know that he needs a break from catching scraps under the table, but a long day can make any creature grumpy. 

“Why are you making them leave the party, they’ve been so good?” It’s exactly because they’ve been so good we need to take a short break! Just because we could stay, doesn’t mean we should nonstop. We can come back to the party, but just see what happens when you take a break with your pet. Does your pet need some recoup time? Do you need some recoup time? Give your pet every opportunity to succeed, and remind them of the absolute joy that is relaxing. 

Will I know if my pet is ready to leave the party?

Note: Cats tend to have less need to stay in the middle of the party just because we’re there too, and this mostly applies if you have people over at your home. But! Similar things can help them as well. 

How long has my pet been up? Have they rested recently? Do they have a space they can retreat to if they feel overwhelmed? 

Do they know they can leave?? While this may seem silly, a lot of pets don’t know that leaving the party is even an option. Especially if they’re somewhere new, and they may be a little stressed to be away from their people. Taking breaks where you can grab a drink and go sit in a quiet area with your pet may be an effective mid-party breather for your pet, and support them going to an area that they can feel safe in. 

Remember when creating a safe space, we need to include access to food, water (and, for cats, a litterbox!) Consider additional elements like pheromones or puzzle toys to give them something to focus on. Some additional skills that can aid in building a safe space include training a Flight Cue, place/mat training, separation practice, and recall if they need some extra help leaving sticky situations to go to their safe space. 

I could go into an entire other blog post on this aspect, but if you have further questions or want help building a safe space for your dog in preparation for the holidays, consider booking a session with me or one of our certified trainers at Pet Harmony.  

Do I want to manage my pet at the party? 

Your dog may have a great time at the party! Unattended food plates, extra smells, so many arms to throw the ball with, paper packaging to tear up? Heavenly! 

BUT! If you’re going to be stressed, that may be reason enough to not have them come to the party! It’s not a mean decision or cruel (they won’t know the snacks they missed), it is being conscious of your own thresholds and what you can handle.

If you’ll be stressed making sure your pets don’t eat something they shouldn’t… or stressed that your relative* is going to freak out your dog because it’s funny… or stressed the 5 year old is going pull your pet’s tail when you’re not looking… 

Maybe our pet doesn’t need to come to the party.  

*Shout out to my relatives for not doing this; I am pulling from an anonymous clients’ experience and don’t want to throw any Wilkes/Duffy family under the bus, especially with the holidays approaching. If any family is reading this I’ll see you at the snack table later, I’ll be bringing cookies.

Now What? 

Let’s get the pet party planning out of the way before the actual party planning sets in! Even if you are still finalizing plans (and who will be where, and when, and with what)  we can still work on…

Considering gatherings and parties you have been at without your pet: 

• Could you have met your pet’s needs at that time? What would it have entailed? 
• Are there situations where it would have been hard to navigate your pets and your party plans at the same time? 
• What body language would you need to keep an eye out for to get an idea if your pet is struggling or enjoying the party? 

We can desperately miss our pets, and still admit that they would not enjoy being with you at that moment. You can admit it begrudgingly, shed a tear, whatever gets me- sorry, you- through the feeling. Just remember to leave the rose colored glasses at home with your pet if that’s the case. 

Consider gatherings and parties that you have been with a pet: 

• Are there skills, enrichment, or management that could have helped you and your pet have a better experience? 
• Did your pet enjoy the party, or just tolerate it? Related: Did you enjoy having them there? 
• Did they take any breaks during the party? 

• What enrichment activities does my pet engage with? What is their favorite/least favorite? 
  • For example: Frozen chews, long term chews, food puzzles, snuffle mats, etc. 
• What management can I prepare for my pet for now? 
  • For example: separation using a baby gate or barrier, crates, carrier acclimation, etc. 
• What skills could I help communicate with my pet what they can do when stressed? 
  • For example: Flight Cue training, Settle on Mat/Place, Recall, etc. 

This is a great time to get ahead of the holiday season! Starting some training and preference tests can help prepare everyone for a fun and festive season. If you’re hitting a wall or wondering what methods may be best for you and your dog, consider scheduling a lesson to go over more details and get your pet party planning in place!