Episode #141 - Gratitude, But Not The Toxic Kind

Thanks, but no thanks (to toxic positivity)

November 17, 2025

TLDL (Too Long, Didn’t Listen):

1️⃣ Gratitude isn’t pretending it’s all fine – You can acknowledge hardship and find small things to appreciate; both can be true.

2️⃣ Little glimmers matter – Whether it’s a client breakthrough, a funny pet moment, or a small win, collecting and revisiting these moments helps you stay grounded when things get tough.

3️⃣ Build your support system – Surround yourself with people who help you see the light when you’re ready and know when to just sit with you in the dark.

Episode Overview:

Let’s be real: sometimes, being told to “just be grateful” when things are hard feels… gross. We get it. Gratitude can be helpful, but not when it’s used to slap a smiley face sticker over real pain.

In this episode, Allie and Ellen talk about what taking a descriptive approach to gratitude looks like. It’s the kind that helps you carry the hard stuff, not erase it. Allie shares what she’s learned while recovering from a serious fall (and yes, her therapist will be proud of this one), and Ellen dives into why “good vibes only” doesn’t help us or our clients.

Whether you’re a pet parent knee-deep in the messy middle or a pro helping others through it, this episode is your reminder that you can say “this sucks”… and still find the tiny glimmers along the way.

Links & Resources from the Episode

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Meet the Hosts

Allie Bender, CDBC, CPDT-KA, SBA

Allie Bender is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant, Certified Professional Dog Trainer- Knowledge Assessed, and a Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 2006 and professionally training since 2012. She is the founder and co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker.

While in the animal sheltering industry, Allie realized that her passion lied in helping pets with maladaptive behaviors. Specifically, she wanted to help prevent animals with rehabilitatable problems from being euthanized. She loves working with dogs and cats displaying stranger danger, resource guarding, and leash reactivity. Her favorite thing about working with pets and their people is seeing relationships grow and seeing harmonious households develop.

EMIly strong

Emily Strong is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant and Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 1990 and has been a behavior consultant since 2008. She is the co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker.

Emily started working with animals at a young age and struggled with the notion that you have to hurt, scare, or intimidate animals to help them. When she discovered the behavior sciences and learned that it wasn’t necessary to do so– that we can care for emotional, mental, and physical health simultaneously– she plunged headfirst into animal behavior. Emily loves helping current and prospective behavior professionals and working with pet parents through our in-depth services. She enjoys working with all species.

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Episode #141 - Gratitude, But Not The Toxic Kind

Thanks, but no thanks (to toxic positivity)

November 17, 2025

TLDL (Too Long, Didn’t Listen):

Episode Overview: