Episode #132 - Are You Self-Sabotaging?

False choices, cleavers, and why your brain is tricking you.

September 15, 2025

TLDL (Too Long, Didn’t Listen):

1️⃣ Dichotomous Thinking = Sneaky Self-Sabotage – Believing you only have two options shuts down creativity, learning, and better solutions.
 
2️⃣ Spotting the Trap – Watch for “either/or” statements, zero-sum feelings, and the urge to prove someone 100% right or wrong.
 
3️⃣ Breaking Free – Get curious, ask better questions, bring in other perspectives, and remember: there are usually more than two ways forward.

Episode Overview:

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “Either I have to do X, or Y terrible thing will happen”? Welcome to dichotomous thinking, one of the sneakiest forms of self-sabotage we fall into. In this episode, Allie and Emily unpack how binary thinking shows up in our industry (and in life), why it’s such a trap, and how to start climbing out of it.

Along the way, you’ll hear stories about superheroes and supervillains, cleavers vs. paring knives, and a very personal example with Copper that shows just how limiting “either/or” thinking can be—even for seasoned professionals. By the end, you’ll have tools to notice when you’re stuck in false dichotomies and strategies to find more creative, compassionate options for you, your clients, and your pets.

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Meet the Hosts

Allie Bender, CDBC, CPDT-KA, SBA

Allie Bender is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant, Certified Professional Dog Trainer- Knowledge Assessed, and a Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 2006 and professionally training since 2012. She is the founder and co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker.

While in the animal sheltering industry, Allie realized that her passion lied in helping pets with maladaptive behaviors. Specifically, she wanted to help prevent animals with rehabilitatable problems from being euthanized. She loves working with dogs and cats displaying stranger danger, resource guarding, and leash reactivity. Her favorite thing about working with pets and their people is seeing relationships grow and seeing harmonious households develop.

EMIly strong

Emily Strong is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant and Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 1990 and has been a behavior consultant since 2008. She is the co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker. 

Emily started working with animals at a young age and struggled with the notion that you have to hurt, scare, or intimidate animals to help them. When she discovered the behavior sciences and learned that it wasn’t necessary to do so– that we can care for emotional, mental, and physical health simultaneously– she plunged headfirst into animal behavior. Emily loves helping current and prospective behavior professionals and working with pet parents through our in-depth services. She enjoys working with all species.

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