Episode #125 - Does Comforting My Pet Reinforce the Fear?
Good news: You don’t have to ignore your scared dog.
July 28, 2025
TLDL (Too Long, Didn’t Listen):
1️⃣ Fear is not a behavior and can’t be reinforced like one
Fear is a physiological and emotional response, not a behavior that can be increased with rewards. However, behaviors associated with fear can be reinforced, which is where people often get confused.
2️⃣ Your emotional state matters just as much as your pet’s
“Your stress travels down the leash” isn’t just a cute saying. If you’re anxious, your pet likely will be too. Comforting your dog starts with regulating your own nervous system first.
3️⃣ Learn when and how to comfort your pet
Some pets want snuggles, others want space. Comforting isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Learn how to listen to your learner and become the safe space they need when they are ready for it.
Episode Overview:
You’ve heard it before: “Don’t comfort a scared dog, you’ll just reinforce the fear.” But… is that true? In this episode of Enrichment for the Real World, Allie and Emily break down the science behind fear, behavior, and reinforcement and why that common advice just doesn’t hold up.
They’ll explore how fear functions differently than you may think, why your emotional state also matters, and how to tell if your pet actually wants your comfort. Plus, you’ll learn how to comfort your dog in a way that supports their wellbeing and builds resilience. Whether you’re navigating thunderstorms, vet visits, or everyday stressors, this episode is packed with actionable advice for the pet parent who wants to help their pet.
Links & Resources from the Episode
🧾 For full episode transcripts: Arial | OpenDyslexic
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Meet the Hosts
Allie Bender, CDBC, CPDT-KA, SBA
Allie Bender is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant, Certified Professional Dog Trainer- Knowledge Assessed, and a Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 2006 and professionally training since 2012. She is the founder and co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker.
While in the animal sheltering industry, Allie realized that her passion lied in helping pets with maladaptive behaviors. Specifically, she wanted to help prevent animals with rehabilitatable problems from being euthanized. She loves working with dogs and cats displaying stranger danger, resource guarding, and leash reactivity. Her favorite thing about working with pets and their people is seeing relationships grow and seeing harmonious households develop.
Emily Strong, CDBC
Emily Strong is a Certified Dog Behavior Consultant and Shelter Behavior Affiliate. She has been in the animal welfare industry since 1990 and has been a behavior consultant since 2008. She is the co-owner of Pet Harmony, co-author of Canine Enrichment for the Real World, and a national speaker.
Emily started working with animals at a young age and struggled with the notion that you have to hurt, scare, or intimidate animals to help them. When she discovered the behavior sciences and learned that it wasn’t necessary to do so– that we can care for emotional, mental, and physical health simultaneously– she plunged headfirst into animal behavior. Emily loves helping current and prospective behavior professionals and working with pet parents through our in-depth services. She enjoys working with all species.
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